Face Burned Comic Strips - Page 6
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Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.
Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.
boss wearing face mask: our data security team informs me we have an elbonian spy in our midst. dilbert wearing face mask: maybe it's this elbonian guy you hired. elbonian wearing face mask: whoa, that is super racist. dilbert: is it you? elbonian: yes, but i don't see how that excuses you.
co-worker in face mask: what do you think of my slide deck? dilbert in face mask: i reviewed all 26 of your slides, and i can't figure out what your point is. co-worker: i could put the point on slide 27. dilbert: or just give up.
the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?
dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.
Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.
wally sneezes and his mask flies out from his face and slaps him in the face and he falls out of his chair. wally: ah-choo!!!! slap! dilbert watching: the pundits were right- everything is different now.
boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.
boss and dilbert wearing face masks boss: put this on a pie chart instead of a line graph. dilbert: no, that's stupid. i'm not going to do that. boss: oh. okay. dilbert: why is this working? continued...