Hr Person Comic Strips - Page 6

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316 Results for Hr Person

View 51 - 60 results for hr person comic strips. Discover the best "Hr Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bet, #billion to one, #dance, #immature, #join pool, #lottery pool, #office pool, #rational person, #longshot

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and asks, "Do you want to join the lottery pool?" Dilbert responds, "No." Dilbert continues, "No rational person would put money on a billion-to-one longshot." Wally says, "You will." Dilbert responds, "No, I won't." Wally says, "I'll bet a hundred dollars that you will." Dilbert responds, "You're on." Wally says, "If you don't join the pool, and we win, I will come to your putrid cubicle and do this dance." Dilbert watches as Wally snaps his fingers and sings, "Ay-yi-yi, hoo-wah-hoo! I'm filthy rich and you're a loser!" Dilbert leans back a bit as Wally leans forward and positions his rear end near Dilbert's face. Wally sings, "HOO-AH! HOO-AH!" Alice, Asok, and Wally convene in the hallway. Alice asks, "Who won the $100 Dilbert pool?" Wally responds, "Whoever picked thirty seconds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #good manager, #hires samrter, #boss dumber, #ceo, #dumbest person, #bad managers, #doomed, #motivational meeting, #high five

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are in a meeting. The Boss explains, "A good manager hires people who are smarter than he is." Wally asks, "So... your boss is dumber than you?" Alice asks, "And your boss' boss is dumber yet?" Then, Dilbert says, "According to your theory, our CEO is the dumbest person in the company." Wally adds, "Unless all of you are bad managers." And Asok says, "Truly we are doomed either way." The Boss responds, "This concludes the motivational part of the meeting." Wally says to the Boss, "I'd give you a high five but I don't like to move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #mentally weak, #no ambition, #no self respect, #happiest person, #kill, #psychology

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Alice: You're mentally weak. You have no ambition, no pride, and no self-respect. Wally: I'm also the happiest person in this room. Alice: Now I just want to kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #deception, #downtrodden employee, #awesome person in disguise, #spider eggs, #bosses coffee, #survive, #learned, #knowledge is over rated

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Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #thinking, #product ideas, #billion dollar ideas, #unwilling, #corporation, #dumb person idea, #pretend, #drone that attacks, #wooden screen phone

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Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets

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Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.

Copersons

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Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

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Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business

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The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #idea, #never work, #reject hypothesis, #self doubt

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.