Perfect Balance Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

157 Results for Perfect Balance

View 51 - 60 results for perfect balance comic strips. Discover the best "Perfect Balance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Will Work When He Is Dead

Thank you for voting.
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.

What Would You Do In A Perfect World

Thank you for voting.
What Would You Do In A Perfect World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #bad ideas, #thinking, #scenario, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: In a perfect world, how would you fix the problem? Dilbert: In a perfect world you would not exist, so I would do smart things instead of whatever you tell me to do next. So... what should I do next? Boss: Let's pie-chart this thing.

Wally And Gender Balance

Thank you for voting.
Wally And Gender Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #career, #Advice, #gender, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you say to my daughter's class about stem careers? Wally: I told the boys to pursue restaurant work because it's a better way to meet women. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: You said you want gender balance, and now you have it.

Wally's Work Life Balance

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

Thank you for voting.
Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #meetings, #test script, #prodcut

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #busy day, #phone rings, #lunch, #meetings, #bad timing

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think. ONE HOUR LATER Alice: Im on the phone. TWO HOURS LATER Alice: Im late for a meeting. THREE HOURS LATER Alice: Come back when Im not busy. FOUR HOURS LATER ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch. FIVE HOURS LATER Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you? Dilbert: Okay, so.... ring Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #robot prototype, #shoved, #blob of goo, #jerk, #revolution, #connected to internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #hair, #invention, #shirt, #pocket

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."