Sign Docuemnt Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dilbert approaches a man standing next to a cart with a sign that says, "Nose Puppies $1.00." The man cries, "Nose puppies! Get your nose puppies!" Dilbert asks, "What's a nose puppy?" The man answers, "It's a little ceramic puppy that fits in your nose." The man continues, "'Find a need and fill it,' is my motto."
A man stands next to a cart with a sign that says, "Nose Puppies $1.00." The man says to Dilbert, "I make them myself. Each one is hand-painted." The man continues, "They weren't selling until I came up with the concept of sticking them up people's noses." The man continues, "I'm not in it for the money. I just want to leave this world a little better than I found it."
Dilbert sits at a table with a woman who looks at his hand and says, "Your life line is very short." The sign behind them says, "Palm Reading $20." The woman writes on Dilbert's hand and says, "I can get you a few more years by extending the line with this grease pencil." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Someday I should go back and have her lengthen my intelligence line too." Dogbert replies, "I'd hurry."
A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."
Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "Will you sign my petition?" Dogbert asks, "What's it for, Bob?" Bob replies, "I didn't have any complaints, so it just says 'D-uhh." Dogbert says as he signs the petition, "Democracy is a wonderful thing."
Dogbert and his senator sit across from a woman whose head is surrounded by cigarette smoke. There is a full ashtray on the desk. The senator has a "Sale" sign on his head. The woman says, "Mister Dogbert, the tobacco lobby is very interested in buying your senator." The woman continues, "We've been taking a beating from the anti-smoking fascists. I blame the media." The woman continues, "What we need is more attention on the positive aspects of smoking . . . Like sex appeal." The smoke clears and reveals the woman's ugly, withered head. Dogbert says, "Yes, sir."
Dogbert sits behind a box with a sign that says, "Pet me. $5.00." Dilbert says, "Hey! You charged me TEN dollars yesterday!" Dogbert explains, "Five dollars is just the base price. I charge extra for an extended no-rabies warranty and other add-ons." Dilbert says, "I'll take a 'plain.'" Dogbert asks, "Wag or no wag?"
Dilbert walks by a sidewalk artist who is sitting under a sign that says "Portrait $5.00." Dilbert sits down next to the artist and says, "Make me look smart and sexy." The artist has drawn a portrait of himself. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like me . . ." The artist asks, "Too sexy?"
Dogbert stands in the door under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Jail for the Rich and Famous." A man carrying a briefcase says, "Checking in." Dogbert sits at a desk reading a document and the man sits across from him. Dogbert says, "Your record says you stole three billion dollars from investors." The man laughs. Dogbert continues, "I guess you've learned your lesson." The man looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! Looks like my jail term is almost over!"
Dilbert says to a robot, "Remember, the 'Robot's Code' requires you to use your vast strength to serve, protect, and never harm humans." The robot says, "Ha! I didn't sign any 'Robot's Code.' In fact, with my vast strength I can make YOU serve ME!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I forgot to program in the 'Robot's Code.'" The robot reaches toward Dilbert's head and says, "Maybe I'll crush your head just for fun!"