Take Call Comic Strips - Page 6
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The boss sits in meeting next to Dogbert who is dressed in a turban. The boss says, "My atrologer tells me that someone here is plotting to rip me off." Asok says, "How much is your atrologer charging you?" The boss says, "Are you plotting to rip me off?" Dogbert says, "I prefer to call it hourly billing."
Dilbert sits at a table with another man (Ted). Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "You're suggesting a process that will fail even if we do evrything right." The man says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "Listen carefully. No amount of skill or effort can make this plan work." The guy says, "No pain, no gain." Dilbert says, "you're not working with many tools here, are you?" The man says, "We need some sort of conferance call."
Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."
Alice, Dilbert and Wally eat lunch. Alice says, "I'll wear a clever disguise then interview for the engineering job here." Alice says, "If he offers me more money than I make now, I'll take the job. Heh-heh" Alice sits on the boss' office diguised in a very high hat and a dark glasses. The boss says, "You're suspiciously fashionable for an engineer." Alice says, "I store tools up there."
Asok sits next to Carol at her desk. Dilbert says, "Asok! Did you escape your job in quality assurance?" Asok says, "Yes, I had to take a job as a secretary's assistant. I'll work my way back up to intern." Carol hands Asok the phone and says, "It's four o'clock. Call my kids and yell at them." ASok says, "Cursing or no cursing?"
Caption: "Dogbert's tech Support" Dogbert answers the phone at his computer. The voice on the phone says, "Hello, I..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and reboot." The voice on the phone says, "Hey, it work..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and hang up.." Dogbert looks at his watch and thinks, "My average call time is improving."
Dilbert leans his head in the Boss's office and says, "I'm going to do some personal business during my lunch hour." Dilbert continues, "Normally I would work through lunch." Dilbert says, "But this will take a full hour." Dilbert turns to leave and says, "It would only take two minutes if I used the Internet." Dilbert turns back towards the Boss and wags his finger, saying, "But the internet is for business use only!" The Boss stares as Dilbert says, "Our company has a limited number of zeroes and ones." Dilbert holds out his arms and says, "When they're gone, they're gone. Furthermore..." Wally looks at Dilbert and asks, "You mocked him for a full hour?" Dilbert says, "Now it's time to eat."
The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.
Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.