Testing Comic Strips - Page 6
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67 Results for Testing
View 51 - 60 results for testing comic strips. Discover the best "Testing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 07,
2009
Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous
Transcript
The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."
Tuesday September 15,
2009
Tags #testing, #meeting, #bosses, #ceo, #pay, #explosion, #head, #greed, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I can't tell if my pay is excessive enough." Dogbert says, "So I created a lab to test the reaction of hobos to my different pay scenarios." Wally says, "It's your turn to find the next hobo."
Wednesday December 30,
2009
Tags #communicating, #vague, #ignoring, #meeting, #stare, #nonsensical, #business
Transcript
Morgan:The man with no communication skills Morgan says, "They decided to do option one." Dilbert says, "Who is "they"? What is option one? And are they testing or implementing?" Morgan says, "You just earned yourself a creepy stare until the topic changes." The Boss says, "Okay, moving on..."
Sunday March 07,
2010
Tags #quality tester, #version 2, #engineer, #overpaid, #appear, #performance review, #office politics, #raise, #arms out, #plan, #strategy, #wave folder in face, #angry, #bug eyes, #grit teeth, #insubordination, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to help with quality testing on Version 2." Dilbert says, "I'm an engineer, not a quality tester.' Dilbert says, "If I do quality testing, even temporarily, it will make me appear grossly overpaid." Dilbert says, "That impression could work against me during my next performance review." Dilbert says, "A one percent difference in pay, compounded over the rest of my life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"
Friday September 20,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #project, #unstable applcation, #data model, #overly complex relational databse, #lazy, #business
Transcript
Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"
Monday November 04,
2013
Tags #burglars & robbers, #frustration, #lab, #stealing back cables, #worse problem, #boss, #adds fuel to fire
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.
Tuesday May 12,
2015
Agreeing Like Disagreeing
Tags #criticism, #respect, #disrespect, #Opinion, #arguing, #argument
Transcript
Dilbert: Experts say I should show respect for your opinion before voicing disagreement. So I respect your decision to release our product without user interface testing. Boss: Your respect sounds exactly like disrespect. Dilbert: How is that my fault?
Sunday November 08,
2015
Tags #social, #party, #invite, #relationships, #friend, #friendship, #test, #popularity
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.
Saturday August 06,
2016
Drone Defense Has One Problem
Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.
Friday November 10,
2017
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him
Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.