Thousand Dead Souls Comic Strips - Page 6
274 Results for Thousand Dead Souls
View 51 - 60 results for thousand dead souls comic strips. Discover the best "Thousand Dead Souls" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 26, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."
Share September 28, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert asks The Garbageman, "My boss asked me to clone him. Is that unethical?" The Garbageman replies, "You'll either create a soulless abomination or, if the clone is normal, you will have shown that souls are irrelevant." Dilbert asks, "What if the original is already a soulless abomination?" The Garbageman replies, "You can borrow my cloner. It's in the truck."
Share October 18, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."
Share January 17, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Sales Training. A speaker says, "A trained salesperson can sell anything to anyone." The speaker continues, "I will prove it by selling this roadkill to one of you for a thousand dollars." Dilbert returns home with roadkill on his head. Dogbert asks, "Um.. How was your class?" Dilbert responds, "I got a hat!"
Share October 18, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."
Share December 14, 2002's comic on:
Wally says to two children, "Then they rip out your ego and they put you in a box until you rot!!" The two children jump back and exclaim, "Gaaa!!" Wally continues, "You'll never know if you're dead or if you're simply envying the dead!!" The children look terrified. Dilbert bumps into Wally while walking down the hall and asks, "How was 'Career Day?'" Wally responds, "Kids these days are afraid of work."
Share December 21, 2002's comic on:
Share July 28, 2003's comic on:
Our new as caiman willies familiar music from artists who are willing to sell out. Due to budget cuts, we'll limit our search to musicians who are dead but not yet totally decomposed. MAKEUP!!!!
Share September 04, 2003's comic on:
Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.
Share September 11, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."