Two Bulls Comic Strips - Page 6
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587 Results for Two Bulls
View 51 - 60 results for two bulls comic strips. Discover the best "Two Bulls" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 16,
1999
Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy
Transcript
The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."
Thursday March 09,
2000
Tags #one page report, #two page executive summary, #spend the day, #snapping underwear, #elastic band
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."
Saturday April 01,
2000
Tags #gap analysis, #honest, #two pointy hairs, #for department
Transcript
The Boss tells Wally: "I want you to perform a Gap Analysis for our department." He continues: "Be completely honest." Later, Wally reports: "The Gap is located between two pointy tufts of hair that move about the office."
Monday May 29,
2000
Tags #antimicrobial polymer, #pick up lines, #two women, #stinky socks, #turn off, #a no no
Transcript
Dilbert is standing at a party with two women. He says, "My socks use an anti-microbial polymer to bond chlorine atoms to cotton." He continues, "I can wear these babies for days before they start to stink." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What was that other pick-up line we talked about?" Dogbert answers, "It was 'Hi.'"
Thursday June 08,
2000
Tags #boss, #edfred, #freak, #new hire, #new plan, #trust, #two faced employee, #two headed
Transcript
EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.
Friday June 09,
2000
Tags #two faced, #employee, #see one, #turn around, #other faces, #confusing, #frustrating, #pointing
Transcript
Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.
Thursday November 30,
2000
Tags #one vote, #cpr, #heimlich maneuver, #two votes, #yelling boo, #drill hole, #below
Transcript
Asok the Intern is down and his legs are sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "Okay, we have one vote for using CPR, one vote for the Heimlich Maneuver..." Dilbert continues, "And two votes for sneaking up behind him and yelling 'boo'." Dilbert, Wally, Alice and The Boss look at Asok lying on the floor as Dilbert says, "I don't see how we can get behind him." The Boss says, "What if we drill a hole from below?"
Sunday October 25,
1998
Tags #improve communications, #two pennies, #give two cents worth, #cute, #avoid seeing boss, #pretend dead, #nickel
Transcript
The Boss enters Alice's cubicle and says, "In order to improve communications..." Alice says, "Please don't." The Boss says, "Every morning I'll give you two pennies." The Boss holds out the change and says, "Every afternoon, you return them and 'give me your two cents' worth.'" The Boss stares at Alice and says, "Get it? It's cute." Alice asks, "So I get to keep the money if I avoid seeing you?" The Boss stands and holds his hands together. Alice continues, "How much will you pay me to avoid your voice mail too?" Alice leans over the wall of the cubicle and calls after the Boss, "I'll pretend you're dead for a nickel." The Boss says, "I hate them all."
Wednesday February 28,
2001
Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"
Tuesday March 20,
2001
Tags #phone call, #outgoing message, #paris, #press one, #movie, #press two, #bad feeling
Transcript
Dilbert, pressing buttons on his portable telephone to the sound of, "beep boop beep," thinks to himself, "I hope she's home." Listening to his phone, Dilbert hears, "If you'd like to take me to Paris, press one. If you are inviting me to a lousy movie, press two." Dilbert presses a button on his phone to the sound of, "beep," and thinks to himself, "I've got a bad feeling about this."