Wife Divorced Comic Strips - Page 6
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64 Results for Wife Divorced
View 51 - 60 results for wife divorced comic strips. Discover the best "Wife Divorced" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 10,
2006
Transcript
"This is Dogbert's tech support. How may I abuse you?" "I get an error message every time I open an application." "Try giving me all of your personal information and then checking into rehab." "Then I'll have someone steal your identity and move in with your wife." "There's a good chance that the new guy will know how to fix your computer." "When you get out of rehab, talk your wife into taking you back." "Then never touch your computer again because it hurts the ones you love." "How's work?" "Everyone wants to talk to my supervisor."
Saturday December 07,
2013
Tags #public speaking, #telephones, #public address button, #calls, #talking to doctor, #talking dirty, #practice
Transcript
Carol: You keep pressing the public address button on your phone when you make calls. We can't tell if you're talking to your doctor or you're really, really bad at talking dirty to your wife. Boss: I use one to practice the other.
Sunday March 23,
2014
Tags #engineers, #frustration, #apples and oranges, #comparing fruit, #grow on trees, #nutritionally
Transcript
Boss: You can't compare apples and oranges. Dilbert: That's clearly wrong because you just compared them and declared them different. Wally: Apples and oranges are both foods that grow on trees. It would be totally valid to compare them nutritionally. Dilbert: I've noticed that a lot of what comes out of your mouth makes no sense. Boss: You sound like my wife. Wally: You can't compare your wife to your subordinate. That's apples and oranges. Boss: What is happening here? Wally: I don't know, but I wouldn't compare it to work.
Tuesday November 17,
2015
Give Up On Making Them Happy
Tags #happiness, #deception, #perspective, #work, #office, #marriage, #psychology, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.
Friday May 13,
2016
Wally's Lateness Excuse
Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying
Transcript
Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.
Thursday June 09,
2016
Wally Might Be Jealous
Saturday December 03,
2016
Acting Interested In Dilbert
Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!
Wednesday December 13,
2017
Boss Hits Jackpot
Sunday March 25,
2018
Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.