Your Fired Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

151 Results for Your Fired

View 51 - 60 results for your fired comic strips. Discover the best "Your Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, fired, unflattering comments, transferring new job, living for weekend, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert sits behind a desk and says, "Hello, head-count." The employee asks, "Am I fired?" Catbert responds, "No, no, no..." Catbert says, "I'd never fire you for making unflattering comments to the press about the company." The employee responds, "Really? Everyone said you're evil." Catbert responds, "Heh, heh, thank you." He pauses and then continues, "But all I'm doing is transferring you to a new job." The employee says, "Gee, that doesn't sound bad." He pauses and then asks, "What is it?" Catbert says, "Our new assembly line is seven inches too low. Your job is to fix it." The employee's head is clamped in a machine. A factory worker is using his legs as a lever with which to operate the machine. The employee thinks, "I'm living for the weekend."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incompetent vp, fired, fvaor, laugh, resignation, announcement, terse, incompetence, ambiguaous, meaning

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags an olympic gold medal, apply own job, emailed jokes, fired, posthumous medal, reclassification of job, requires phd, synchronized swimming 1992, top ten signs

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted asks, "Am I fired?" The Boss, sitting at his desk, answers, "Of course not, Ted. I enjoy e-mailed jokes as much as anyone." Ted smiles as The Boss says, "I'm still laughing about your 'Top Ten Signs That Your Boss Is a Hairless Rodent'." The Boss says, "I asked you here to discuss the reclassification of your job." The Boss says, "Starting today, the job requires a Ph.D. Feel free to apply for your own job." Ted says, "Whew! Luckily, I have a Ph.D." The Boss says, "You do? Well, the job also requires an Olympic Gold Medal." Holding up the medal around his neck, Ted says, "Synchronized Swimming, 1992." The Boss says, "And a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, executives, happiness, deadline, no disturbance, threat, fired, do/dont, sexist, powertrip, euphoria, overpaid, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm on a deadline, so don't let anyone disturb me for at least an hour. If anyone gets past you, you're fired. CEO: Tell your boss to come to my office now. Carol: He'll fire me if I disturb him. CEO: I'm your CEO! Disturb your boss now or I'll fire you. Boss: I heard that, and if you disturb me, you're fired. CEO: You're fired if you don't! Boss: You're fired if you do! CEO: Whoa! Hold on! I'm getting a sudden wave of euphoria. Boss: Me too! CEO: Is it because we're overpaid? Boss: It... it feels... wonderful!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, respect, succeed, treat each other well, video recording, google glasses, recording confidential info, fired, insulting, final check, name calling, ironic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, mobile (cell) phones, phone rining, fired, judge, ironic, threat, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired on the spot. RRRING! Stop judging me with your eyes. Dilbert: It's the only thing that keeps them open.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags magician, press agents, pubilcity, famous magician, fired, stayed in swear, rats for month

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your last job was doing publicity for a famous magician. Why did you leave. Interviewee: My boss fired me after the trick where he stayed in a sewer full of rats for a month. Dilbert: I didn't hear about that. Interviewee: I forgot to tell anyone it was happening.

Ted Has A Bad Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has A Bad Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired, firing, prognostication, predict, psychic, complaining, complaint, prophecy

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.

Problem With The System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Problem With The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired, bottom, firing, termination, layoff, hierarchy, logic, illogical, executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.

Coworkers Who Are Special

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Who Are Special - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultation, insults, fired, pay, Advice, special, compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.