3 Donuts Comic Strips - Page 6
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121 Results for 3 Donuts
View 51 - 60 results for 3 donuts comic strips. Discover the best "3 Donuts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 01,
2002
Tags #donuts, #eat nit wit, #nitwit, #ogre, #poor guy
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with two managers, an ogre and a nitwit. Dilbert says, "Our project team is composed of a nitwit, an ogre, and a #$&%!" The nitwit asks, "Which one of them is a nitwit?" The ogre raises his hand and says, "You didn't bring donuts. May I eat the nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "Yes." The nitwit says, "Poor guy."
Sunday November 17,
2002
Tags #indecion, #intense pressure, #impossible before deadline, #layers of management., #incompetence, #odor of doom, #scarce and sniff, #3d glasses
Transcript
Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"
Monday April 28,
2003
Tags #business card orders, #downsized, #3 per week, #possibility of leaving, #rates, #fees, #calculations
Transcript
Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."
Wednesday September 24,
2003
Tags #3 page eamil, #clump of space, #separate long sentances, #ambling senttences, #little curvy thing, #comma
Transcript
Alice: "I got your three-page e-mail, and I brought you a gift." "It's a clump of blank space. You can use it to separate long, rambling, unrelated sentences." "Next week I'll introduce you to a little curvy thing that I call a comma."
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
Wednesday December 17,
2003
Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects
Transcript
The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.
Tuesday September 28,
2004
Tags #liosuction, #disappeared, #head one, #eating donuts, #being fed donuts
Transcript
Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."
Sunday October 17,
2004
Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer
Transcript
The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."
Friday October 22,
2004
Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish
Transcript
It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.
Tuesday November 09,
2004
Tags #warning lables, #on donuts, #high calorie donuts, #will kill you, #tastes great, #choked to death
Transcript
The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.