Software Upgrade Comic Strips - Page 6

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329 Results for Software Upgrade

View 51 - 60 results for Software Upgrade comic strips. Discover the best "Software Upgrade" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

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Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #personal habitats, #cubicles, #hellhole junior, #pictures

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, 'I can replace your cubicles with 'personal habitats'." Dogbert says, "They look exactly like cubicles, but we've made huge advances in what they're called." The Boss asks, "Is it expensive?" Dogbert explains, "If money is an issue, you could start with the 'Hellhole Junior' model and upgrade later." The Boss asks, "Do you have pictures?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #request denied, #information servvces, #non standard computers, #replacement, #discard the old one, #trash declined, #no computers

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Man tells Wally, "Request denied. The information services department does not upgrade non-standard computers." Wally says, "It's not an upgrade. It's a replacement." Man says, "Our policy is that it's an upgrade unless you discard the old one." Trash man tells Wally, "Your trash is declined. Our policy is 'no computers'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #computer problems, #stupid software, #code rage, #throws computer

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Alice in her cubicle with frustrated look on her face shaking her computer says, "Stupid software! Won't compile, eh??" Asok the Intern walks past Alice's cubicle as she tosses the computer screen over her cubicle wall. Asok the Intern on floor. Policeman writes on notepad. Dilbert stares down at Asok the Intern. Policeman says to Dilbert, "We call it 'code rage.' I'm seeing a lot of it lately."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogebrts tech support, #email, #tech support guy, #classical music, #mister radio

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Tech Support guy talking on phone with Dogbert. Tech Support guy says, "I don't know how to use my e-mail." While sitting at his computer, responds, "You need to upgrade your I.Q. a few points. Try listening to classical music." Tech Support guy stares at radio with arms folded and thinks, "My old nemesis, Mister radio, we meet again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #deny request, #evil incarnate, #something specific, #dollar estimate, #value, #chair, #quantify job, #work tools

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Dilbert approaches a worker sitting at his desk. He is holding a piece of paper and says, "Why did the I.S. department deny my request for a P.C. upgrade?" The worker holds up his arms and shouts, "Because we are evil incarnate! BUWAHAHAHA!!" Dilbert says, "I was looking for something more specific." The worker holds out the paper and says, "You didn't provide a dollar estimate of the benefits." Dilbert says, "That's ridiculous. I can't put a value on every tool I need to do my job." The worker sits back in his chair with his arms folded and says, "If you can't quantify it, then it must not be necessary." Dilbert throws up his hands and says, "Then why does the company give me a chair? I can't quantify that either." Dilbert sits on the floor of his cubicle, without a chair. He thinks, "Here's one more reason why it stinks to be me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #no meetings, #change software, #software settings, #boss, #good work

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "I don't have any meetings today." Dilbert thinks, "I'll change all my software settings until something soesn't work." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Keep up the good work." Dilbert says, "Keep up the good managing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #justify resources, #change software, #software changes, #plan

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."