Afraid Comic Strips - Page 6

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75 Results for Afraid

View 51 - 60 results for afraid comic strips. Discover the best "Afraid" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation schedule, #more than accrued, #actual vacation, #remain upbeat, #quit, #quit on vacation, #slavery

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"Here's my vacation schedule." "Good." "Whoa! You're planning to take more vacation days than you've accrued." "It's okay because I'll accrue the days before the actual vacation." "No can do. What if you quit before then?" "I'm literally afraid to hear the answer to that question." "Think, man! If you quit and have vacation at the same time..." "I'LL BE DOWN TWO PEOPLE!!!" "It's hard to remain upbeat." "Do you still live here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #malfeasance, #abandoned warehouse, #beneficiary, #life insurance

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I'm afraid that my boss will try to kill me because I know about his malfeasance. "I recommend that you ask to meet him alone at an abandoned warehouse." "It was a mistake to name you the beneficiary on my life insurance policy." "Remember to insult his goons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buiness stragey, #list, #past years, #no afraid of change, #deserve bonus, #generous, #good looking, #rhetorical question

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Our new business strategy is... "Hold on." "I made a list of all of our strategies for the past five years." "There have been seventeen of them." "What does that tell us?" "That I'm not afraid of change." "And that I've been working hard and I deserve a huge bonus." "And that I'm kind and generous and good looking." "You have to give him credit. The man knows how to answer a rhetorical question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Here's your coffee. Maybe the wizard can give you some ambition. "Aaah..." "Aren't you afraid that the wicked witch will send her winged cat after us?" "Say what?" "I need headcount for my project. Bring them to me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Aren't you afraid that Google will try to squash you for inventing a better search engine?" "Their company motto is 'Don't Be Evil.' It's not as if they have a death ray or something." Google Headquarters "Now look in the big hole, Eric."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #on payroll, #fool proof dna, #identifying losers, #dna doesn't match, #too many losers

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #amorphous cloud of gas, #once human, #avoid commitment, #molecules stop binding, #subtle odor, #copier room, #micromanage, #input

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The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

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Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"