Anti Stupid Gun Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

341 Results for Anti Stupid Gun

View 51 - 60 results for anti stupid gun comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Stupid Gun" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #flush, #goldie, #john, #ugly, #stupid, #fish, #life, #rivalry, #suicide note, #schools, #pun

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of an empty fishbowl with his arms on his hips. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You expect me to believe that Goldie flushed HIMSELF down the john??!" Dogbert replies, "Surely you don't believe that I ended his ugly, stupid fish life in a fit of pet rivalry . . ." Dilbert looks at a small piece of paper and says, "Explain how a fish can write a suicide note." Dogbert says, "I've heard they have schools . . ."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #depressed, #Dogbert, #bigfoot, #shoot, #hair, #growth, #formula

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "I've been so depressed since the fiasco with the hair growth formula." Dilbert continues, "I hope nobody thinks I'm Bigfoot and tries to shoot me." Dilbert continues, "You know, 'hair today, gun tomorrow.' Heh-heh-heh." Dogbert replies, "I'm thinking about shooting you myself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #look, #car, #most, #important, #anti-lock, #breaks, #reinforced, #summer, #automatic, #passenger, #side, #air, #bag

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #orders, #camp, #girl, #cookies, #daughter, #dozen, #buying, #ted, #money, #character, #earning, #selling, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm taking orders for 'Camp Girl cookies' on behalf of my daughter." Ted asks, "How many dozen can I guilt you into buying?" Dilbert says, "I've always wondered, Ted, why do they sell cookies? Is it just for the money?" Ted replies, "No, it's to help them build character by earning their own money." Dilbert asks, "Oh, so your daughter is doing some selling from door-to-door?" Ted answers, "No, too dangerous. My wife and I are doing all the selling at work." Dilbert says, "Well, then aren't you only teaching your daughter to act helpless so other people will do her work?" Ted says angrily, "Just buy the stupid cookies!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you considered foster care for your kids?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #parent, #license, #parents, #old, #system, #parts, #brain, #garbanzo, #developed, #written, #test, #weed, #major, #bozos, #baby, #cries, #boss, #poor, #grades, #tutor, #discipline

View Transcript

Transcript

A man and woman see a sign on a building that says "Parent licenses." The man says, "We'd better check it out." Dogbert sits at a desk. The man asks, "Why do we need a license to become parents?" Dogbert replies, "Something had to be done." Dogbert continues, "Under the old system, all you needed to be a parent was a few body parts and a brain the size of a garbanzo bean." Dogbert reaches into the desk drawer and continues, "So I developed this written test to weed out the major bozos." The woman reads, "If a baby cries, you should: A. Feed it. B. Discipline it. C. Call it 'stupid.'" The man says, "You have to show it who's the boss." The woman reads, "If a child gets poor grades you should: A. Tutor him. B. Discipline him. C. Call him 'stupid.'" The man asks, "What does 'tutor' mean?" The woman reads, "An acceptable nickname for a child is: A. Junior B. Ugly C. Stupid." The man says, "Depends if it's a boy." The man asks Dogbert, "Well? Can we be parents?" Dogbert replies, "No. And you'll have to leave some body parts at the front desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #received, #employee, #suggestion, #handle, #blanket, #imbeciles, #process

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just received your employee suggestion." The Boss continues, "We'll handle it the usual way -- by making you sit under a wet blanket surrounded by imbeciles." Dilbert sits in a chair with a blanket covering his head. Four stupid people stand around him. Dilbert thinks, "At least there's a process." A man asks, "Explain your suggestion again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #bob, #theory, #denigrate, #superior, #comparison, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Bob the Dinosaur sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My problem is that other people keep trying drag me down, Bob." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that people denigrate me because it makes them feel superior in comparison." Bob replies, "Sounds like a stupid theory to me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #leader, #rebel, #diplomat, #peace, #mission, #rock, #pig, #varnish, #clams, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hat, #crown, #merry christmas, #christmas, #friend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow and Dilbert sits on the floor wearing his bathrobe. There is a present on the floor between them. Dogbert says, "Why should I open it? You already told me it's just a stupid hat." Dilbert replies, "Open it anyway." Dogbert opens the box and takes out a crown. Dogbert says, "Hey, it's not really a hat; it's a crown." Dogbert puts on the crown and says, "I'm not happy. I'm only humoring you." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, little friend."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cat, #frisbee, #catch, #animal behavior, #shooting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tosses a Frisbee and says, "Get it, Dogbert!" Dogbert fires a gun and shoots the Frisbee. Dilbert looks at Dogbert, who is holding a rifle, and says, "Maybe I should just get a cat." Dogbert replies, "Good idea, but they're harder to throw."