Automated Phone System Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

691 Results for Automated Phone System

View 51 - 60 results for automated phone system comic strips. Discover the best "Automated Phone System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lab, #ruebert, #creating, #feminine, #nuture, #serve, #program, #found, #national organization, #Women, #phone, #book, #surprises

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Ruebert the Robot, "What are you doing in my lab, Ruebert?" Ruebert replies, "I am creating a feminine robot to nurture and serve me." Ruebert continues, "I didn't know how to program it, so I found this 'National Organization of Women' in the telephone book . . ." Ruebert continues, "It turns out that this is exactly the kind of thing they like to help with." The female robot asks, "Do you like surprises?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smell, #suspected, #stopped, #neighbor, #cat, #trial, #pat, #pet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dilbert asks, "How was your day, Dogbert?" Dogbert sniffs the air and asks, "Hey! What's that smell?" Dogbert smells Dilbert's hand and says, "Just as I suspected - you stopped to pet the neighbor's cat!" Dilbert says, "It meant nothing. It was more of a pat than a pet." Dilbert dials the phone and says, "Save your lies for the trial."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video, #phone, #compatible, #amazing, #society, #advance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look, I got the first video phone in the city!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk as Dilbert sets up the video phone. Dilbert says, "Now we wait for somebody else to buy a compatible video phone and call us." Dogbert says, "The amazing thing is that society couldn't advance without people like you." Dilbert says, "I think I saw something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #video, #phone, #dating, #unattractive, #prospects, #camera, #system, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #video, #techie, #dweebs, #technology, #mirror, #hell, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #new, #video, #phone, #routed, #television, #celebrities, #calling, #dolly parton

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airlines, #lucky, #payment, #luggage, #crashed, #mountain, #lost, #Peanuts, #hot, #wax, #tarmac

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in his house talking on the telephone. His clothes are disheveled. Dilbert says into the phone, "Lucky Airlines? I demand payment for the luggage I lost when we crashed into the mountain." Dilbert says, "No, technically it's not 'lost.' . . . Well, yes, I did eat your complimentary peanuts . . ." Dilbert hands the phone to Dogbert and says, "Help me out here . . . So far, I've agreed to hot-wax their tarmac."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #company, #survey, #attitudes, #anonymous, #retribution, #dog eared, #phone, #Number, #confidential, #green, #pen, #marker, #eskimo, #objectives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Dilbert, do you have a minute?" The Boss continues, "The company is doing an survey of employee attitudes about their bosses." The Boss continues, "It's totally anonymous, so you don't have to fear any retribution." The Boss opens an envelope and says, "Oops! It looks like your questionnaire is a bit dog-eared." The Boss continues, "I'll put my phone number on the confidential envelope in case you need me." The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "You can use this green marker pen." The Boss adds, "Oh, and I took the liberty of checking off your ethnic background as Eskimo. It's just a statistical thing." Dilbert reads, "1. Does your boss clearly communicate your objectives?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #received, #death, #threats, #patent, #augmented, #security, #system, #sidewalk, #rigged, #electric, #shock, #disarming, #intruder, #catapult, #landfill, #mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've received death threats because of my new patent. So I augmented our home security system." Dilbert continues, "The sidewalk is rigged to give an electric shock, thus disarming the intruder. Then a spring catapults him to the city landfill." Outside, someone screams. Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window and see several envelopes falling onto the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "The mail is here."