Bad Thoughts Comic Strips - Page 6
676 Results for Bad Thoughts
View 51 - 60 results for bad thoughts comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Thoughts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 10, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table building something. Dogbert asks, "What happened with the robot you were building?" Dilbert replies, "Nobody can make a robot. It's impossible." The garbage man opens a trashcan and sees the remains of a robot. He thinks, "Hmm . . . A perfectly good robot. Probably just needs a neurospectrum field calibration." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That whole robot project was bad for my ego as an engineer." A robot enters and says, "Hey! Guess who's WAY smarter than you!"
Share February 12, 1992's comic on:
A robot enters wearing overalls and says to Dilbert, "I made some pants out of the clothes in your dresser." Dilbert shakes his finger and says, "Bad robot!! I want you to tell me why what you did was wrong." The robot pulls his underwear out of his pants and says, "It's not wrong. I remembered to make underpants out of the drapes."
Share March 19, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert walks outdoors thinking, "It's easy to make insecure people insult themselves." Dogbert says to a woman, "Good morning, ma'am. You look thin and sexy today!" The woman replies, "Sexy?! Ha! I'm a whale . . . A whale with a bad hairdo!" Dogbert walks away humming and thinking, "Next."
Share April 21, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock laughing. Dilbert says, "I know you're only trying to make me THINK you've played a prank on me!" Dilbert says, "Well, two can play this game, my friend." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock laughing maniacally. Ratbert enters and asks, "Is this a bad time to visit?"
Share July 02, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert, Dilbert, a man in a pilot's uniform and another man stand on a snow-covered mountain where their airplane crashed. Dogbert says, "Captain Bob, I think you're planning to eat the other survivors." Captain Bob replies, "Ha ha! Too bad your only hope is to send a message to the village at the base of this mountain." Dogbert throws a snowball at the captain, knocking him off his feet. Dogbert says, "When you roll into town, tell them Dogbert sent you."
Share July 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert's head is bandaged and his arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I've had nothing but tragedy since making a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "Sometimes, Dogbert, it seems like our lives have preset balances of joy and pain; when one gets too high the other kicks in to compensate." Dilbert continues, "But through it all, I always have you, my friend." Dogbert replies, "At least until my good luck kicks in."
Share July 19, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Hey, that's Miss Mulput, my old fourth grade teacher." Dilbert says, "Hi, Miss Mulput! Do you remember me - Dilbert?" Miss Mulput replies, "No." Dilbert says, "You used to make me write on the board a thousand times 'I will not be homely in class.'" Miss Mulput replies, "Oh, yeah. That was a good one." Dilbert says, "At the time it seemed like pretty strict punishment for chewing gum." Dilbert continues, "But that experience made me what I am today . . ." Dilbert continues, "An angry adult, obsessed with thoughts of revenge." Dilbert says, "You know, Miss 'Molepit,' if my dog had your face I'd shave his hiney and make him walk backward." Dogbert says, "Leave me out of this."
Share August 18, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."
Share September 14, 1992's comic on:
A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.
Share September 20, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. He hears, "Ha ha! Now spin on your head! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert walks into the room and sees an Elbonian standing on his head. He asks Dogbert, "What's going on here?" Dogbert replies, "This is Yergi. He's visiting from Elbonia." Dogbert explains, "The economy in Elbonia is so bad he only earns three dollars a month as a doctor." Dogbert continues, "It takes a year to earn enough for a pair of shoes . . . It takes TWO years for a pound of meat." Dogbert continues, "Philanthropist that I am, I offered to give him an old boot if he would act like my trained monkey for a week." Dilbert scolds, "Dogbert! I can't believe you would buy this man's dignity for an old boot!" Yergi says, "I plan to tell the kids it's a pound of meat." Dogbert says, "Quiet, Bobo."