Brown Bag Lunches Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."
Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."
Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.
The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."
Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"
Dilbert reaches for a cup as a Doctor says, "We know these random drug tests are unpleasant for employees." The Doctor holds out a dish and says, "That's why we offer free cashews." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Suddenly I thought of Charlie Brown but I don't know why."
Wally approaches the Boss sitting at his desk reading the paper. Wally says, "My stock options are worth a fortune now, you miserable bag of crud!" The Boss types something in his computer and says, "Oh, look, they're back down to worthless." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Try telling him that bags of crud are highly valued in some societies." Wally says, "Shut up."
Dogbert and Dilbert are sitting on a sofa. Dilbert is snacking on a bag of chips. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a discount brokerage firm." Dilbert chews as Dogbert says, "I'll offer my lowest commissions to customers who don't mind bad advice and verbal abuse." Dogbert says, "Did I mention that I won't be keeping any records?" Dilbert says, "You didn't need to."
The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."
Headline: In Elbonia. An Elbonian says to Dilbert, "We manufacture our mud using bottled water and bags of fertile soil." The other Elbonian holds up a bag of soil. Dilbert replies, "There's a huge demand in my country for bottled water and bags of soil." The Elbonian responds, "Is anyone selling bottled air to you morons yet?"