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Zimbu the Monkey sits at his desk working on the computer. Dilbert says, "It's time to end this charade, Zimbu!" Dilbert continues, "Your language skills are simple rote behavior. Monkeys are incapable of logic and reasoning." Dilbert looks at the computer screen and says, "Ha! And that program you're writing -- it's probably in 'Basic.'" Zimbu asks, "Do you ever work?"
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "Knowledge is power, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don't." Dilbert continues, "And they will have a special name for us." Dogbert says, "Secretaries."
An elf holding a top hat says to Dogbert, "Fear us, dog! We elves are magic. Watch this!" The elf pulls a giant rabbit out of the hat. The other elves run away. The elves are bruised and their clothes are tattered. An elf says, "I think we had the dog's fear and respect . . . Until the bunny made Karl eat a bug."
Dogbert stands at a desk and works on a computer as Dilbert watches from behind. Dogbert says, "I can execute my stock transactions on-line with the PC." Dogbert stops typing and says, "There . . . My insider trading netted another sixty million dollars." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Bad dog!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "I suppose it's too late to try slapping him with a rolled-up newspaper."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So, then I thought, ha! Maybe there's a bug in the computer program itself!" The woman reaches into her purse. The woman sprays Dilbert with a can of mace and he screams. Dilbert says, "Maybe that story went on a little long . . ." The woman asks, "What gave it away?"
A woman says to Dilbert, "So, you're temporarily assigned to marketing and Brent went to engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . ." In engineering, Brent points to a computer and asks, "What kind of microwave oven is this?" Wally replies, "That's a fifty MIP Sparc workstation, Brent." Brent places a croissant on the monitor and thinks, "In other words, it's going to take FOREVER to warm my croissant."
Ratbert and Dogbert stand on the sidewalk. Ratbert stomps on a bug and says, "The mighty hunter strikes his wily prey!" Ratbert continues, "The hunter is awash in manly hormones. He has mastered his sport and conquered one of nature's best." Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I used to feel guilty about this until I realized it's a sport."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and chuckles. Dilbert says, "Stop it, Dogbert! You're making that 'heh-heh' sound so I'll think you've played some hideous prank." Dogbert laughs harder and Dilbert thinks, "No . . . Not the maniacal laugh."
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I've made little progress toward my goal of being supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert thinks, "Obviously it's not my fault. Somebody else must be to blame." Dogbert stares at Dilbert who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I hate it when he just stares."
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."