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Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."
Dilbert opens his door and two agents wearing dark sunglasses and holding guns show him their identification badges. The agent says, "We're the government. We came to confiscate your so-called 'Happiness Drug.'" As the agent holds his gun to Dilbert's nose, Dilbert says, "It's not a drug! It's just a mixture of fruits and vegetables that makes you feel happy! You can't outlaw good nutrition!" The other agent says, "Hmm . . . I guess that wouldn't make sense, would it?" The agent says, "Ignore him. He's a new guy."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a plate. Dogbert says, "You already own the 'Acorn Series' of Dogbert's Commemorative Plates . . ." Dogbert continues, "For a limited time you may also purchase my new issue: the 'French Guy With a Hat' series." Dogbert has drawn a face on the acorn. Dilbert says, "My acorn plates are missing." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Tomorrow I'll introduce my new series: 'Russian With French Hat.'"
Dilbert bends over tying his shoelace. He tells Dogbert, "Maybe I'm unlucky in love because I'm so knowledgeable about science that I intimidate people." Dilbert continues, "Their intimiidation becomes low self-esteem, then they reject me to protect their egos." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." They walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "What is 'Occam's razor'?" Dogbert answers, "A guy named Occam had a rule about the world." Dogbert continues, "Basically, he said that when there are multiple explanations for something, the simplest explanation is usually correct." They sit down on some rocks. Dogbert continues, "The simplest explanation for your poor love life is that you're immensely unattractive." Dilbert says, "Maybe Occam had another rule that specifically exempted this situation, but his house burned down with all his notes. Then he forgot." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." Dilbert asks, "I'm an idiot?" Dogbert replies, "I don't think we can rule it out at this point."
Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I just realized I can double your workload and there's nothing you can do about it." The Boss continues, "You're lucky to have jobs in today's economy! You'll gladly sacrifice your personal lives for no extra pay!" Dilbert replies, "But at least our hard work will lead to promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "You're so cute. I wish I had a camera right now."
Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.
"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.