Cell Division Comic Strips - Page 6
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The boss: I have a plan to avoid paying division performance bonuses. I'll merge our group with the worst division so our average performance is lower. her- hee! I should be eay because every division manager is already begging to merge with me.
HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.
The boss: whats that I'm hearing? Is some one on the conference call using the restroom. Had t - oops - me too - I am - Sorry - The Boss: Now tap the speaker phone button to "off"and burn the ruler.
The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.
"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"
Carol: Asok, your pointy-haired boss wants you to set up a conference call with all the division managers." Asok: "Um... wouldn't that be his secretary's job? And aren't you his secretary?" Carol: "Hey, I know. Why don't you try to get an appointment with him so you can ask that question."
"This needs to be done right away." "according to the date, you've had this on your desk for three weeks." "Now I'll have to work all weekend to finish it by the deadline!" "Sometimes you have to soar with the eagles." "Gaaa!! You're reading that from the motivational poster behind me!" "If I have any questions about this. Can I call you over the weekend?" "My cell phone doesn't work when I'm on my sixty foot, luxury sailboat." "Ay-yiyi-yi-yi!!!" "Hey, If you can't take the heat, get out of the...uh...kitchen."
"Your bid to build our cell phone network is the lowest by far." "But I'd feel more comfortable if it had an illegal component." "Like a bribe? Or helping you build a nuclear weapon?" "Yes, just something to add flavor."
"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"
"Welcome to 'Dogbert's Barge City', your floating paradise." "Please leave your cell phones behind, as well as anything else that might let you signal for help." "There's more garbage in paradise than you'd think."