Children Comic Strips - Page 6

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62 Results for Children

View 51 - 60 results for children comic strips. Discover the best "Children" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags candy, children, engineers, big companies, good engineering, skulk around schoolyards, nerdy loners, offer candy, Family

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Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags children, ignorance (knowledge), replaced by robot, replaced by hammer, ugly, furniture, Family

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Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, children & adults, genetic makeup, success, upbringing, warm thermos, curious type, mother, coffee, Family

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Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

Boss And Social Media

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Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology

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Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, humility, insult, humble, ghostwriter, biography, Advice, business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags parent, Parenting, babysitter, babysitting, children, listening, Family

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Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.

Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitting, babysitter, inexperience, children, parents, cell phone, communication, Family, technology

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Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?

Catbert Will Not Help Children

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Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, judgment, company policy, rules, regulations, rigid, stringent, inflexible

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Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitter, children, supervision, date night, parents, Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting

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Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitter, children, supervision, refugees, Family

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Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!