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View 51 - 60 results for concludes presentation comic strips. Discover the best "Concludes Presentation" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layer of management, #meeting disaster, #senior management, #warning the layer above, #dont mention problems

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Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Don't mention any problems when you do your presentation to senior management, Alice." The Boss continues, "They might try to solve the problems during the meeting. That would be a disaster." Alice tells Dilbert, "As far as I can tell, every layer of management exists for the sole purpose of warning us about the layer above." Dilbert akss, "Are you saying they have a purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cafeteria, #heimlich maneuver, #insecure, #job interview, #low self esteem, #pretend to choke, #special kind of employee, #work here, #working unpaid overtime, #overqualified

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The caption says, "Job interview." Wally sits across from the interviewer's desk. The man says, "We're looking for a special kind of employee, Wally." The man continues, "Specifically, we like people with low self-esteem." The man continues, "That way we can bully them into working unpaid overtime." The man asks, "Do you think you're insecure enough to work here?" Wally replies, "Let me put it this way." Wally says, "Sometimes I pretend to choke in the cafeteria . . ." Wally continues, "Then when someone performs the Heimlich maneuver on me I spin around suddenly . . ." Wally concludes, "Just to get a hug." Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice asks, "Did he really say you're over-qualified?" Wally pretends to choke on his food.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rather the consultant, #strategy optuons, #matrix, #four boxes, #something, #phase two, #concentric circles, #labels and arrows

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Ratbert stands in front of a dry erase board and says, "Your strategy options can be shown in this matrix." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table listening to the presentation. Ratbert continues, "The four boxes are 'Something . . . Something . . . Some other thing and whatever.'" Ratbert continues, "In phase two I hope to turn this matrix into concentric circles with labels and arrows." The Boss thinks, "I'm under the consultant's spell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cheetah, #drew lines, #feel bad, #mock you, #morale of the story, #opinions mattered, #pure adrenaline, #shrunk everything, #sprang into action, #totally worthless, #trampoline

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Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "You're probably wondering how my day was." Dogbert sits on the couch reading a magazine. Dilbert says, "It was terrible . . . Until I did THIS!" Dilbert holds up a diagram. Dilbert sits down and explains, "It all started when I deluded muself into thinking my opinions mattered." Dilbert continues, "I sprang into action like a cheetah on a trampoline!" Dilbert gets up and demonstrates. Dilbert continues, "I drew lines and boxes and arrows for hours. It was pure adrenaline." Dilbert shouts, "Suddenly, trouble struck! It wouldn't fit on one page!!" Dilbert continues, "So I shrunk everything until it was totally unreadable. And it fit!!" Dilbert concludes, "The moral of the story is that you don't have to feel bad just because you're totally worthless." Dogbert says, "I'd mock you but the challenge is gone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #boss, #give presentation, #technology, #trade show, #wiggle room, #for or against

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The Boss stands behind Alice in her cubicle. She sits at a PC. The Boss says, "I've been asked to give a presentation at the trade show." The Boss says, "I'd like you to put that together for me, Alice." Alice asks, "What's your topic?" The Boss replies, "Technology. They didn't say if I'm for it or against it." Alice says, "I'll leave some wiggle room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointless presentation, #trade show, #usual time wasting, #filler, #morres law, #netscape, #comparison, #ironically, #impassioned reminder, #awards

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Alice approaches the Boss at his desk with a paper in her hands. She says, "I've prepared your pointless presentation for the trade show." She continues, "It's got the ususal time-wasting filler: A graphic of Moore's Law, a "Netscape" comparison, and ironically..." "...it ends with an impassioned reminder to think in new ways, " Alice finishes. The Boss comments, "Maybe I should give out some awards, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cancelled meeting, #dilmom, #effort, #glass half full, #made extra money, #no over time pay, #not funded, #not important work, #optimitic, #power point slides worse, #wast of time, #waste of enery, #worked till midnight, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert helps his mom with her coat. Dilbert says, "As usual, I worked until midnight last night, mom." Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least you made some extra money." Dilbert puts his jacket on. Dilbert says, "I don't get paid for over-time." Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom take a walk. Dilbert's Mom says, "Well, at least it was important work." Dilbert says, "Not really." Dilbert says, "My boss made me change my "Power-point" slides, but the changes made them worse." Mom says, "Well. at least you're prepared for you meeting." Dilbert says, "It was canceled." Dilbert and Mom seen in the distance. Dilbert says, "But that's okay, because the project isn't funded anyway." Mom says, "So....you worked for free to worsen a presentation for a meeting that won't happen for a project that doesn't exist?" Dilbert says, "Yup." Mom says, "Well...at least you could travel back in time without having any impact on history." Dilbert says, "Yeah, my glass is half full."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee communications survey, #negative news, #come to insult, #communication problems

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A consultant is giving a presentation using an overhead projector. He holds a transparency and says, "We have the results of the employee communications survey." The projection shows a skull and cross bones and says Negative News. He says, "The number one problem is "Fear of Giving Negative News to Managers." The Boss sits next to Dilbert and says, "What?! Why haven't I heard this before?" The consultant says, "Well, maybe because it's negative news?" The Boss says, "Do you have a solution or did you just come to insult me?" Dilbert and Wally both think, "Don't get involved." The consultant says, "Ooh. Um... maybe if we wait a few days it will take care of itself." The Boss says, "Fine. Next." The consultant smiles nervously and says, "Happily, there are no other communication problems whatsoever. Heh, heh." The Boss turns to Dilbert and says,"I wonder why so many problems go away on their own." Dilbert says, "I have no comment at this time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

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Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #brilliant, #ineffciency, #procrastination

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Alice says, "We'll probably have to work all night on this presentation, Asok." Asok says, "That's brilliant! You plan to use your inefficiency to make your procrastination look like martyrdom!" Alice says, "Now I have to kill you." Asok says, "Please do. Reincarnation is my only hope."