Search Results for "days"
Share September 25, 1999's comic on:
CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."
Share October 30, 1999's comic on:
Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."
Share November 08, 1999's comic on:
The boss is standing drawing his arm in the direction of Judy, who is standing beside him. The boss says, "The attendance award goes to Judy for missing the most days." As the employees sit and applaud, the boss says, "I think we all agree that morale is higher when Judy isn't here." The boss hands Judy a certificate and says, "We took turns coughing on the certificate."
Share May 29, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is standing at a party with two women. He says, "My socks use an anti-microbial polymer to bond chlorine atoms to cotton." He continues, "I can wear these babies for days before they start to stink." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What was that other pick-up line we talked about?" Dogbert answers, "It was 'Hi.'"
Share June 27, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."
Share July 26, 2000's comic on:
Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"
Share August 24, 2000's comic on:
Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"
Share December 18, 2000's comic on:
Wally says to The Boss, "I worry that casual dress days encourage flirtatious behavior." Wally says, "I mean, look how adorable I am in my turtleneck sweater. How are the ladies supposed to concentrate?" Wally says to The Boss, "Do you think I should put warning cones around my cubicle?"
Share December 20, 2000's comic on:
Catbert says to Wally, "There will be no more Casual Dress Days." Catbert says to Wally, "We believe that employees work harder when they are wearing uncomfortable clothes." Dilbert is wearing a spacesuit. Wally, sitting in front of a computer and wearing a suit of armor, says to Dilbert, "I feel all motivated but I can't lift my arms."
Share July 28, 2001's comic on:
The Boss walks up to Carol's desk. He is thoroughly disheveled; his hair is messed up, his shirt is torn and dirty. He exclaims, "I've been trapped in my office for three days! Didn't you hear me scream?" The Boss continues, shaking his hands frantically in front of Carol: "I used my staple remover to claw through the side wall!" Carol responds calmly, "Your door is a pull, not a push." The Boss, looking confused, replies, "Get me a bigger staple remover just to be safe."