Few Extra Features Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for few extra features comic strips. Discover the best "Few Extra Features" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #reprogrammed dna, #marketing guys, #heavens sake, #thank you, #power of suggestion

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As they walk down a corridor, Alice says to Dilbert, "Maybe you shouldn't have told Stan you programmed his DNA through the LAN." Alice continues, "Those marketing guys believe anything. They even believe market research, for heaven's sake." As Stan approaches, Alice says, "There's no telling what the power of suggestion might do." Stan, whose facial features now resemble those of a weasel, says to Dilbert, "Well, thank you very much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #few suggestions, #alice's document, #bonk, #guards to document, #obtuse acronyms, #jargon, #multi topic sentences, #stubby, #plastic stautes

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Alice sits at her desk. Wally enters and says, "I had a few suggestions on your document, Alice." Wally bangs his head on her monitor. Alice says, "Thanks." The Boss approaches Alice's desk and says, "I've made some upgrades to your document, Alice." Alice looks at the paper and says, "That's just what it needed: a bunch of obtuse acronyms and jargon." Alice continues, "Oooh, looky! You've also made elegant multi-topic sentences out of my stubby clear ones!" The Boss replies, "Thank you. And put me down as the author since I'm the boss." Alice says, "Maybe I should distribute little plastic statues of you with every copy. How about that?" Alice hands Dilbert a statue and a document and says, "Here's your copy, here's your statue, don't ask." Dilbert says, "Our quality is low, but at least we don't get credit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #feels good, #fester and grwo, #micromanage, #plan, #self directed team, #team meetings, #full blown loathing

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The Boss stands in front of a conference table with an overhead projector on it. He points to a diagram and says, "My plan is to make you a self-directed team." Alice, Dilbert and Wally are at the table. The Boss continues, "After a few team meetings, the disrespect you have for each other will fester and grow into full-blown loathing." The Boss adds, "You'll BEG me to micro-manage you!! Ha ha ha!!" Wally comments, "It actually feels good to have a plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #changes to design, #work around clock, #work smarter, #not harder, #violate laws of physics, #create radiation, #ill user, #mention in documents, #beta tester

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Wally sits at his desk and Dilbert stands behind him. The Boss enters and says, "I made a few changes to the design." Dilbert reads a document and looks shocked. He says, "We'll have to work around the clock for months to make these changes!!" The Boss says, "Work smarter, not harder." Wally looks at the changes and says, "You're trying to violate the laws of physics!" The Boss replies, "Rules were made to be broken." Dilbert says, "This design would create enough radiation to instantly kill the user!!" The Boss walks away and says, "Be sure to mention that in the documentation." Dilbert says to Wally, "Let's work smarter not harder." Wally replies, "I think we found the only 'beta' tester we'll need."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #calls friends, #erases disc drives, #fix the bugs, #glitter, #network, #premier software, #six months, #software, #quickprotect, #swears at you, #engineering

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Dilbert, Wally and a woman from marketing sit at a conference table. The woman sits in front of a computer and says, "It's time for marketing to put the glitter on this software you've created." She continues, "With my guidance this will become the premier data backup software!" Wally says, "Bear in mind that we said it would take six months to write it." Dilbert says, "You only gave us a month." The woman says, "We'll fix the bugs in the next release. Tell me about the features." Wally says, "At this point, all it does is erase your disk drive." Dilbert adds, "Unless you're on a network." The woman asks, "What happens if you're on a network?" Wally replies, "It erases everybody's disk drives." Wally continues, "And heaven help you if you have a modem . . ." Dilbert says, "It calls all your friends and erases their PCs." The woman says, "We'll call it 'QuikProtect.'" Dilbert adds, "If you have a sound card it swears at you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #jet pilot experimce, #ow hard, #money, #pretty boy, #experience, #corporate jet, #budget pressure, #pilot eject seat

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A man reads Dogbert's resume and asks him, "Your resume doesn't list any experience as a jet pilot, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "How hard could it be?" Dogbert continues, "You could spend a lot of money on some pretty boy pilot with experience, or you can save a few bucks and have ME drive the corporate jet." The man says, "I AM under a lot of budget pressure . . . And I'm not allowed on the jet myself . . ." Dogbert asks, "It has a pilot eject seat, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1995's comic on:


Tags #redundant projects, #big binder, #seems useful, #useless binders, #build my addition

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A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Three other people asked for that same information. You must be on redundant projects." The man hands Dilbert a binder and says, "Here's a big binder which at first glance seems useful, but you'll realize later it's not." The man says, "I've got a few more useless binders. Do you want 'em?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I'm using them to build an addition to my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ship prodcut, #two months early, #nothing exists, #proptype, #more funidng, #froze money, #frozen budget, #boss, #creepy boss, #dysfunctional

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We need to ship the V-1 product tomorrow. I promised our CEO he can announce it at the shareholder meeting." Wally says, "That's two months early!!" Dilbert says, "We haven't added any features yet!!" Dilbert says, "What would we ship? Our lab prototype is the only V-1 in existence!" Wally cries, "No . . . You wouldn't!" The Boss picks up the device and says, "I've scheduled press tours so you can do demos all next week." Wally asks, "On what?!" As the Boss walks away carrying the prototype, Dilbert says, "We'll need twenty thousand dollars to build another prototype!" The Boss says, "That reminds me; I froze the budget for the rest of the year." The Boss continues, "If there's anything you'd like me to do, don't hesitate to ask." Wally says, "Yeah, I'd like you to do something . . ." The Boss looks angry. Wally says, "Ooh . . . I think I should have hesitated to ask that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #air traffic control system, #on time, #under budget, #feature creep, #dangerous, #wall clock

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"