boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter.
ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped.
boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file?
ted: did either of them sound plausible?
boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed.
carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year.
boss: he must be deeply uninformed.
carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.