Financial Reports Comic Strips - Page 6

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122 Results for Financial Reports

View 51 - 60 results for financial reports comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Reports" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cuts, #customer service, #pranks calls to elderly, #neighbor, #treasure buried, #under lawn

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Dilbert reports to The Boss, "Our budget cuts are affecting customer service." The Boss asks, "How much?" Dilbert continues, "Our customer service center spends all day making prank calls to the elderly." A customer service representative says into the phone, "According to our records, your neighbor has treasure buried under his lawn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technically impossible, #costs less, #much cheaper, #plan one or two, #engineers

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analyzed, #corporate culture, #findings, #bunch unmotivated, #weasels, #knapsack

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Dogbert reports to The Boss, "I've analyzed your corporate culture and put my findings in this report." The Boss reads the report aloud, "The employees are a bunch of unmotivated weasels. I look good in this hat." Dogbert says, "I would have mentioned my knapsack but it's only a summary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #status reprrts, #costs of projects, #business plan, #budget, #throw on pile

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Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over paid, #4 dollars, #honest, #reports mistake, #bowels of bureaucarzy, #correct injustice

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ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #borrow chair, #leave callateral, #financial officer

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Financial officer: "May I borrow your chair for a meeting?" Dilbert: "Okay, but leave your wallet, keys, company ID, and one shoe with me." Financial officer: "I'm your chief financial officer." Dilbert: "Then I also need your PDA and one sock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hot mess employee, #magnet for problems, #wally stalks her

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"My life is a rolling disaster." "I'm a magnet for all problems legal, financial, medical and romantic." "Uh-oh... I sense another disaster brewing." wally: "Shes cute. I think I'll stalk her every day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial troll, #demands lower prices, #shopping, #walgetco

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Financial troll: "Every time we cut costs, our distributor, Walgetco, takes the gain by demanding lower prices." The Boss: "Thank you for shopping at Walgetco! Have a nice day!" Financial Troll "Maybe it's too late." The boss: "Troll accessories are on aisle six!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right

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Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fearless adventurer, #chief financial iofficer, #bungee cord

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It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"