Free Soft Drinks Comic Strips - Page 6
279 Results for Free Soft Drinks
View 51 - 60 results for free soft drinks comic strips. Discover the best "Free Soft Drinks" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "We desperately need another person on my project!" The Boss replies, "We're already over headcount. Get a contract employee." Dilbert says, "Okay, but they cost twice as much." Dilbert says, "Plus we need to buy a computer." The Boss says, "Rent one. We're over our capital budget." Dilbert replies, "Renting is expensive. We'll go over our expense budget." The Boss says, "I'll fire Wally. That will free up some cash." Dilbert throws his arms up in frustration and says, "Wally's on my project!" Dilbert shouts, "Forget it! I'll just work sixteen hours a day!!" The Boss thinks, "That worked out perfectly. I think I might be a genius or something." The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "I wonder if I should have told him the project was cancelled last week."
The caption reads, "Dilbert is trapped in the bowels of accounting." Dogbert says to a demonlike clerk, "I understand you have Dilbert in there. Free him, or else . . ." The clerk responds, "Else what?" Dogbert replies, "Or else I will put this cap on my head BACKWARDS! Your little hardwired accounting brain will explode just looking at it." Wearing the cap backwards, Dogbert approaches Dilbert who is still hanging over the pit. Dilbert asks, "What was that popping sound?" Dogbert answers, "A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
The Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Mister Catbert will explain our new 'total compensation plan' for excellence." Catbert says, "We no longer view compensation in the narrow terms of salary alone." Dilbert, Alice and Wally think, "Danger! Danger!" Catbert continues, "If employee benefits go up, then salaries can go down and it all balances out." Catbert lies on the table and says, "For example, did you know you could lower your blood pressure by rubbing my soft, furry belly?" Alice says, "It might be a trick!" Wally thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wally rubs Catbert's stomach and Catbert shouts, "Ha ha ha!!! It's a health benefit! Now I'll cut everybody's salary!" Dilbert, Alice and Wally look shocked and their hair and clothing is disheveled. Dilbert says, "I've noticed that the more health benefits I get, the worse I feel."
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"
A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."
Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another banner week of accomplishments!" Wally continues, "I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style and my proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity!" The Boss asks, "You watched the mandatory training videos?" Wally adds, "And I lost my free will!"
The Boss, Alice, Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will help us design a new company logo." Dogbert drinks a cup of coffee. The Boss asks, "When will you start?" Dogbert turns the empty coffee mug upside down on a piece of paper and says, "I just finished. I call it the brown ring of quality."
Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."
The Boss and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert shows the Boss a document and says, "Here's my final plan for the company's day care facility." Dogbert continues, "I call it free range day care. The children are allowed to roam free among the cubicles. It's very economical." Two small children stand in Wally's cubicle. The boy says, "I don't believe he's really an evil troll." The girl says, "Look at the 'Powerpoint' slides he's making. It's not human."
Catbert says to Tina, "It has come to my attention that you used company resources to send e-mail to your boyfriend." Catbert continues, "I'm willing to overlook this ugly incident in exchange for five minutes of quality petting on my soft, furry belly." Tina pets Catbert's stomach and says, "This seems so wrong." Catbert says, "Try using both hands."