Fur Sale Comic Strips - Page 6

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61 Results for Fur Sale

View 51 - 60 results for fur sale comic strips. Discover the best "Fur Sale" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #sales engineer, #making sale, #install, #few extra features, #massage table, #sprawl, #get naked

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Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #strategic alternatives, #company for sale, #new corporate overlords, #employment vandalism

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The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #elf, #feel special, #likes pets, #random stack, #birthday, #birthday cards

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Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers on it."

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Share August 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #salesman, #lying, #annoyed, #reading, #caught

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Man says, "Your order will only cost about $20,000." Dilbert says, "No it won't." Dilbert says, "We both know you're intentionally underestimating the true cost to get the sale, you lying sack of spit." Man says, "You're not supposed to say that out loud." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I imagine a bear attacking you?"

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Share December 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #cold-calling, #sales, #engineer, #threatening, #fire, #closing, #economy, #business, #engineering

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Sales have been lagging" Dogbert says, "I want each of you to cold-call ten customers per day." Alice says, "We're engineers. We don't know how to sell." Dogbert says, "Just follow this script. It's guaranteed to close every sale." Dilbert says, "Hello. I'm calling on behalf of the police and firefighter's charity for unattractive youths." Dilbert says, "If you send us $500 we will send you a lovely piece of software as a thank you gift." Dilbert says, "Otherwisem when your house catches on fire, you might find yourself handcuffed to the refrigerator." Mom says, "Dilbert? Is that you?" Dilbert says, "Hi, mom. I'm in sales now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #monkey, #training, #successor, #groom, #worry, #bug, #eat, #fur, #animals

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Dilbert says, "We have a problem. Our CEO is grooming a winged monkey as his successor." Alice says, "When you say, 'grooming,' I hope you meant training." Monkey says, "I felt something move right here." CEO says, "Ho ho! Last one. I'm stuffed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

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Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough

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CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

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Share August 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #fake 50%, #dumb customers, #smart shoppers, #$400 per hour, #freaking genius

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.

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Share January 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cowardice, #terrorists, #international terrorist, #cancel order, #big hit earnings, #decimate value, #stock options, #transfer, #poor safety record

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Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.