Future Version Comic Strips - Page 6
145 Results for Future Version
View 51 - 60 results for future version comic strips. Discover the best "Future Version" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 07, 2003's comic on:
The addresses a meeting, "The future of the company depends on new product revenue." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Is that why you slashed the research and development budget?" The Boss replies, "If you're so smart, let's see you describe our future without using the word 'doomed.'"
Share July 11, 2003's comic on:
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Share August 07, 2003's comic on:
The Boss: Tell me why you need a new server. and don't give me the condescending simple version for managers. I want a full technical explanation. Dilbert: Early civilizations had no concept of zero. The Boss: Go on.
Share August 19, 2003's comic on:
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Share October 12, 2003's comic on:
The boss: "Hey, it's a customer!" The boss: "You're in luck; our next version has every feature you'll ever want!" Man: "It does?" "I was ready to buy your current version... but I guess I'll wait." The Boss: "When will our new version be ready?" Dilbert: "In a year." "The new version will leapfrog our competition." Man: "Leapfrog? That implies that they have better products right now." The Boss: "BUY OUR PRODUCT, YOU STINKIN' PILE OF CRUD!!" "SLAP!" "I have to run. Try not to blow the sale."
Share December 20, 2003's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"
Share December 27, 2003's comic on:
Share January 04, 2004's comic on:
As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.
Share May 04, 2004's comic on:
Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."
Share May 16, 2004's comic on:
Tags #celebrity business plan, #commit crime, #hire lawyer, #reality tv show, #gain weight, #tabloids, #spokesperson, #weight loss product, #write children book, #rehab, #addicted to painkillers, #plan, #future plans, #goals, #sensationalism
Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."