Good Laugh Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dilbert says, "I made a nice avacado dip for us, Dogbert." Dogbert sits on the hassock holding a bag of potato chips. He says, "I hate avacados." Dilbert sits in his chair and asks, "How do you know, if you haven't tried them?" Dogbert says, "How do you know you don't like cramming potato chips up your nose? YOU've never tried THAT." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough . . . I can't dispute your logic." Dilbert says, "If you try the dip, I'll cram potato chips up my nose." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert tries the dip and says, "Hmm . . . Good." Dilbert stuffs chips up his nose and repeats, "Ouch . . . Ouch . . ." Dilbert says, "Id feelth aboud like I thoughd id would." Dogbert says, "I lied. I've liked avacados for years."
Dawn: Little dinosaurs must listen to their mothers. Rex: Why? Dawn: Uh... Because older dinosaurs have experience... We know how to avoid danger. Rex: Yeah? Bob: Hey, did you know it hurts when you stick one of these in your eye? Rex: Hee hee! Good one, mom; I almost believed you!!
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for Christmas, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "The usual: domination of earth, happiness at the expense of others, personal ego gratification." Dogbert asks, "And you?" Dilbert replies, "I want to feel greater love and understanding for other people." Dogbert asks, "Even obnoxious and cynical people?" Dogbert continues, "And people who laugh at you for being an idealistic simpleton?" Dilbert thinks. Dilbert pats Dogbert's head and replies, "Yeah." Dogbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dilbert."
Dilbert stands at a woman's door and asks, "Are you Widow Johnson . . . Uh, I mean 'Missus' Johnson?" Dilbert says, "I'm afraid your husband was devoured by the automatic denture invention we were building." Dilbert continues, "Some day we'll look back at this and laugh." The woman looks shocked.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my book so far?" Dogbert looks at the manuscript and says, "It reminds me of 'Moby Dick.'" Dilbert asks, "Because of my creative metaphors and strong imagery?" Dogbert responds, "No, it just seems to me that a big whale wouldn't smell too good, either."
Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."
Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.
The Boss sits at his desk and says to Dilbert, "As you know, we're a sponsor for the Swedish women's swim team . . ." The Boss continues, "They're in town for a week, and all of the hotels are booked." The Boss asks, "Would you mind if they stayed at your house?" Dilbert looks surprised. The Boss hands Dilbert a check and says, "Naturally, we will pay all expenses and give you this $10,000 bonus." Dilbert looks at the check and thinks, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy." The Boss stands behind him holding a piece of string attached to the check. The Boss yanks the string and pulls the check out of Dilbert's hands. The Boss and two other people laugh at Dilbert. Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The embarrassing part is that it came so soon after the Swedish women's luge team prank."
The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert carrying costumes. The Boss says, "On my recent business trip to Japan, I learned that Japanese workers dress as their favorite animals to boost productivity." Wally wears a beaver costume and Dilbert wears a dolphin costume. In Japan, a group of workers laugh as one man says, "Ooh-ooh . . . And remember the time we told them we all do calisthenics?!"
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."