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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Toll booth ahead. Turn down the radio . . . Get exact change ready . . ." Dilbert stops at the tooth booth and says to the toll collector, "Good morning!" Dilbert drives away thinking, "I wonder if it's normal to want the toll-taker to like me."
Dilbert holds a can of furniture polish and a polishing cloth. Dogbert says, "Doing a little cleaning? Let me give you a hand . . ." Dogbert looks at his paws and says, "Wait . . . I can't lend a hand; all I have are these little paws." Dilbert says, "You'd make a good lawyer." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Charming . . . I offer to help and he insults me."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."
A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"
Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You know, many great men kept diaries." Dogbert says, "Not to mention the entire Kirk Cameron fan club." Dilbert sits at a desk and writes, "Monday: Woke up. Went to work. Came home. Ate. Watched tv and went to bed." Dilbert closes the diary and tells Dogbert, "Well, this was both therapeutic and satisfying." Dogbert says, "Sometimes it's good to bare your soul like that." Dilbert sits at the desk and writes, "Tuesday: See 'Monday.'" He thinks, "Who the heck is Kirk Cameron?"