Honest Vendor Comic Strips - Page 6

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175 Results for Honest Vendor

View 51 - 60 results for honest vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Honest Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #afraid to eat sandwhiches, #eat sandwhiches, #focus group, #truth telling, #vendor

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Dilbert says, "Wally, you have to see this vendor." Wally asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "I think he's telling the truth." Wally exclaims, "No way!" Dilbert and Wally watch the vendor talking to Asok the Intern. The vendor says to Asok, "When the focus groups saw this product they were afraid to eat our sandwiches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #die from shame, #loss, #throw it, #window repair business, #honest vendor

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THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert looks at a new product. The vendor says, "Five minutes after you buy it you'll want to throw it through a window." The vendor says to Dilbert, "We sell these at a loss but we make it up with our window repair business." The plug falls off the product. Dilbert says, "It fell off." The vendor says, "Sometimes the components actually die from shame."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #honest vendor, #not nice to meet, #weird, #spank hamster, #business is over reated, #repeat business

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THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert and the vendor reach to shake hands. The vendor says, "It wasn't nice to meet you." Shaking hands with Dilbert, the vendor says, "You didn't buy enough; I'll probably spank my hamster for no reason." The vendor thinks to himself, "Repeat business is over-rated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #master of delegation, #footsteps, #third thing, #valuable time, #vendor, #two minute call, #Funny, #conversation

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The Boss is hiding behind a doorway as Dilbert walks toward him. The Boss thinks, "The Master of Delegation hears the footsteps of his prey." Sticking his head out the door, The Boss says, "Hi." A startled Dilbert exclaims, "Gaaa!!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Call this vendor and tell him I want the third thing he told me about." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Okay. That will save two minutes of your valuable time." Dilbert says, "When the vendor asks me dozens of questions should I just guess at the answers?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Or would you prefer to spend an hour giving me enough background so you can avoid a two-minute call?" Dilbert says, "You know what's funny? This conversation lasted a minute... And there are two of us." The Boss asks, "Are you done?" Dilbert says, "I think you wrote down your own phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #wireless fiber multifage, #wrong solution, #software bug, #budget hardware, #business case, #get funding, #it people approved vendor, #better idea

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The boss leans over Dilbert, points to the computer screen and says, "Why don't you try using a wireless fiber multifage?" Dilbert says, "Well, first of all, no such thing exists." Dilbert continues, "If it did exist, it would surely be the wrong solution for a software bug." Dilbert says, "And there's no extra money in our budget for hardware." Dilbert continues, "It would take six months to writer a business case and get funding." The boss yawns. Dilbert says, "Then our I.T. people would refuse to install it because it's not an approved vendor." The boss says, "Do you have a better idea?" Dilbert says, "Yes. I just fixed it." The boss says, "Do you think you can hold the fort while I go coach someone else?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accepting bribes, #vendor, #golf lessons, #trip to veags, #price sheets

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Carol sits between the Boss and Catbert. Catbert scolds Carol, saying "BAD!" while the Boss says, "Carol, you can't keep accepting bribes from salespeople who want access to me." Carol replies, "Didn't a vendor just take you on a golf trip to Vegas?" The Boss says, "That is so-o-o!" Carol replies, "Let's compare price sheets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #drinks, #answer questions, #works, #already wroking, #date, #private, #business, #confused, #misunderstanding

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Alice sits next to Dilbert and Wally at a conference table. She says, "I'm meeting a vendor for drinks tonight. He says it's the only time he has to answer my questions." Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "If that works, please let us know." Alice replies, "What do you mean 'works'? And who is 'us'?" Wally exclaims, "It's already working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bait and switch, #first and third wives, #invited for drinks, #men vs women, #pretext, #tricked, #undertsand

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Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #recommend vendor, #internal debvelopers, #play out, #outside vendor, #clueless weasel, #begin work, #sign contract, #internal weasels complain, #use, #steaming mounds, #worthless code, #plan too much, #practiced yesterday

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Dilbert stands before the Boss giving a presentation. Dilbert says, "...And that's why I recommend using this vendor." The Boss asks, "Why don't we use our internal developers?" Dilbert replies, "Let me explain how this will play out." Dilbert begins drawing a diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step One: We select an outside vendor because our internal developers are clueless weasels." Dilbert continues, "Step Two: We sign a contract and begin work." Dilbert says, "Step Three: Our internal weasels complain to our VP and she order us to use them." Dilbert continues drawing a complex diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step Four: The outside vendor sues us while our weasels grunt out steaming mounds of worthless code." Dilbert returns home to Dogbert. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do I plan too much?" Dogbert says, "Is this the conversation we practiced yesterday?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #microphone, #tail off camera, #makes me wag, #honest work

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."