Industry Halo Effect Comic Strips - Page 6

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112 Results for Industry Halo Effect

View 51 - 60 results for industry halo effect comic strips. Discover the best "Industry Halo Effect" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #six sigma consulatant, #increased profits, #industry downturns, #flat growth, #industries, #upturned

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "Every company that used my six sigma program increased profits." Dogbert continues, "...Except for the ones that were in industry downturns..." Dogbert continues, "...Or flat growth industries... Or industries that only upturned a little bit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #best practices, #classified budget, #consultanats, #layoffs, #merger, #new ceo, #office relocation, #reorganized, #savings, #startegy, #whole industry, #budget freeze

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Dilbert points to a diagram that reads, "Year 1." He says, "The project got off to a slow start." Dilbert continues, "First we had the reorganization." Dilbert continues, "Then the merger. And the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "Budget freeze. Office relocation." Dilbert continues, "New Ceo, New consultants, New strategy." Business associates listen as Dilbert continues, "Eventually the whole industry changed and the opportunity evaporated." Dilbert continues, "So we classified our unused budget as "savings" and gave everyone a shirt. A female business associate turns to The Boss and says, "You said you'd show us your 'best practices.'" The Boss replies, "What are you implying?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

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Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #change happens, #kickboxing, #reverse sheep effect, #reverse sheep effecte, #wear pants

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The Garbageman says to Dilbert, "You can reverse the sheep effect by signing up for a kickboxing class." The Garbageman continues, "The change will happen quickly, so be prepared." Dilbert responds, "Umm.. Okay." Dilbert is in the middle of a kickboxing class. He transforms back into a human, loses all of his wool, and finds himself naked. Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly I realize he meant 'wear pants.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boost revenues, #offshore, #subsidary, #lie to media, #criminal activity, #gag a rat, #corruption

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Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob the Dinosaur are meeting. Dogbert says, "We'll artificially boost revenues by selling to our own offshore subsidiary." Dogbert continues, "Then we'll book our expenses to capital, lie to the media about our prospects, bribe an industry analyst, and cash out!" Ratbert grabs his own throat and gags, "Aak, Aak, Aak." Dogbert says, "I know I'm doing something right when my business practices gag a rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #bone deep, #carefree, #medication, #shellfish, #until the pun, #beauty, #side effect, #health

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Dilbert is at a party; he has an exoskeleton. He's holding a drink and talking to a woman. Dilbert says, "My medication makes me carefree and happy, but the side effect is an exoskeleton." Dilbert continues, "Remember the old saying - 'Beauty is only skin deep.'" He giggles, "Hee hee." Dilbert continues, "But enough about me. I don't want to look shellfish." The woman responds, "You had a chance until the pun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new marketing strategy, #past cutomers, #flu symptoms, #sick people, #appeal to sick people, #reinvent dead horse, #duh- mensuon, #floating scared darkness, #confusing cause & effect

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Jimmy will explain our new marketing strategy." Jimmy says, "A study of past customers shows that 96% of them have flu symptoms." Jimmy continues, "Apparently, sick people are the most likely to buy from us. We don't know why." Jimmy points to a slide of an ill man and says, "So we redesigned our ad campaign to appeal to sick people." Alice says to Jimmy, "You're confusing cause and effect. Your study shows that our products make people sick." Jimmy responds, "Alice, let's not reinvent a dead horse." Alice panics and says, "Suddenly nothing makes sense.. I must have slipped into the meeting duh-mension!" Alice leans back in a daze and says, "Floating.. Scared.. Darkness." The Boss says, "This usually lasts about 10 minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #highest profit margin, #entire industry, #not supposed to say, #customers

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The Boss says in a meeting, "We have the highest profilt margin in our entire industy!" Alice leans over and whispers something to The Boss. The Boss says, "Apparently I'm not supposed to say that in front of customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

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Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #invoices, #unauthorized dedcutions, #standard industry practice, #dance like chickens, #chicken are funny

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Dogbert: "You can rob your small suppliers by making unauthorized deductions from their invoices." "When they complain, say it's a standard industry practice and threaten to take your business elsewhere." "The make them dance like chickens." The boss: "Ha! Ha! Chickens are funny."