Knowledge Mangement Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Knowledge Mangement

View 51 - 60 results for knowledge mangement comic strips. Discover the best "Knowledge Mangement" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #fall asleep, #runny nose, #sneaks in, #pinches nostrils shut

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: Why does a runny nose stop running when you fall asleep? Dogbert: The nose fairly sneaks in at night and inches your nostrils shut. Ratbert: This is exactly why I don't like knowledge.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #knowledge is power, #crush you

View Transcript

Transcript

Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #worthless, #subject matter expert, #narrow field, #vague field

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "People think I'm worthless, but in fact I'm a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field." "It's so narrow that it requires no knowledge whatsoever." Dilbert: "What field is it?" Wally: "There's no way to know for sure."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #paying for consulting, #no recommendations, #feel secure, #shaping strategies, #hate you, #feel good

View Transcript

Transcript

"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project wombat, #project manager, #inviting me, #expertise, #knowledge of expertise

View Transcript

Transcript

Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all." "This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk." "You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved." "This is Alice. She will be your mentor." "I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!" "I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!" "Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here." "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #scientist, #planet zorp, #technolgies, #engineers, #transfer knowledge, #work, #fabric covered container, #business, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Scientist: I am a scientist from the planet Zorp. I bring you technologies beyond your imagination. All I ask is that you let me work with your engineers to transfer this knowledge. They think 'work' means sitting in a fabric-covered container.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #knowledge, #authority, #make decsions, #misinterpret, #build

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does anyone here have any knowledge or any authority to make decisions? woman: "I'm only here to listen and misinterpret." "Let's try to build on that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #empty brain, #stress, #word knowledge, #past the filters, #mantra, #lindsay lohan, #britney spears, #paris hilton

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #dont breathe, #help, #rat, #software, #software consulatant, #trying to help, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the software consultant RatBert: Don't let your lack of knowledge interfere with my brilliance. Don't touch the keyboard, don't offer opinions and don't breathe so loudly that I can hear it. Ratbert: There. I've either configured your software or erased something called a bios.