Local And Global Issues Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for local and global issues comic strips. Discover the best "Local And Global Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #illeagal, #age, #sex, #martital status, #ethnicity, #fifty year old, #mongrel spinster

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"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish

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It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire

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Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astonishing incompetence, #stars of project, #issues

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The Boss: "Alice, what's the status of your project?" Alice: "The astonishing incompetence of others caused me to jump through a window and land in a dumpster." The Boss: "So then, no issues?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disbale cahe mode, #duplicate key, #engineer, #helping coowrker, #technical work, #understand, #engineering

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ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Tech Support "Before I can help you, I need your tech support product identification code." "You can find it by going to your local landfill and digging until you see your product's original packaging." "But don't disturb the seagulls or they'll peck off your face."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #language, #translation, #trade off, #cheap, #money

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My Elbonian factory can manufacture your product for pennies. "Is there any downside?" "Minor translation issues." "They either said 'plastic' or 'the spleen of a pig-footed bandicoot.'" "We don't have any plastic." SPLEENS

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

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The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Phew. This has been a long meeting. Does anyone have any other issues? "I..." PUNCH "We have a motion to adjourn."