Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 6
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469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 51 - 60 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 02,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, good leader, ego, great leaders, awesome, business
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?
Saturday January 05,
2013
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, meeting, never anticiptae, first draft, business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to help prepare me for my meeting tomorrow. Write up some answers to the questions we could never anticipate. Dilbert: I wouldn't expect much out of my first draft.
Wednesday January 09,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, actionable anlytics, big data, new jargon, accelrate, business
Transcript
Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.
Friday January 11,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, employment studies, good boss, getting riase, less dysfunctional, creepy dude, business
Transcript
Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.
Monday January 14,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, thinking, twitter, witty tweets, power to destroy career, abusing employees, personal gain, business
Transcript
Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.
Friday January 18,
2013
Tags above average, ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, top 110%, study of managers, percentages, business
Transcript
Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.
Friday February 01,
2013
Tags laziness, managers & supervisors, devote energy, projects, setting priorities, business
Transcript
Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags anger, angry, hateful creature, hope, interviews, job interview, managers & supervisors, monster, optimisim, smile, toxic work place, business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Tuesday February 12,
2013
Tags boss, coffee, good managing, horing, ignorance (knowledge), insulting, managers & supervisors, smart people, confontation, business
Transcript
Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.
Saturday February 16,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, values, don't run with scissors, ask for raises, employee values, business
Transcript
CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.


