No Good Plan Comic Strips - Page 6
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Share September 30, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks toward the Dog Doctor. The veterinarian says, "Hi, Dogbert. How are you?" Dogbert replies, "Not so good, Doc." Dogbert explains, "I have a bad case of 'happy tongue.'" The vet says, "Hmm . . . Is your tongue happy for any particular reason?" Dogbert replies, "No reason at all. I'm quite worried." The vet says, "I'm going to prescribe these tongue depressors. Use one every time your tongue gets too mirthful." Dogbert leaves the office humming. The doctor thinks, "I like that dog."
Share November 04, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert walks into a store called Nerdstrom. A salesclerk says to Dilbert, "Hi, I'm Larry, and I'll be your personal shopping assistant." The salesman opens a measuring tape and says, "I'll start by measuring you, then I'll do your colors, then compile a brief family history for our records." The salesman continues, "Complimentary food and beverages will be served, and a masseuse is on call." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a new pen . . . Maybe something in a Bic." The man says, "I recommend the blue. We guarantee it for life." Dilbert says, "Yes, this will do nicely." Back at home, Dogbert asks, "Was it expensive?" Dilbert replies, "Fortunately, I qualified for their identured servant plan."
Share December 02, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I made a nice avacado dip for us, Dogbert." Dogbert sits on the hassock holding a bag of potato chips. He says, "I hate avacados." Dilbert sits in his chair and asks, "How do you know, if you haven't tried them?" Dogbert says, "How do you know you don't like cramming potato chips up your nose? YOU've never tried THAT." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough . . . I can't dispute your logic." Dilbert says, "If you try the dip, I'll cram potato chips up my nose." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert tries the dip and says, "Hmm . . . Good." Dilbert stuffs chips up his nose and repeats, "Ouch . . . Ouch . . ." Dilbert says, "Id feelth aboud like I thoughd id would." Dogbert says, "I lied. I've liked avacados for years."
Share December 12, 1990's comic on:
Dawn: Little dinosaurs must listen to their mothers. Rex: Why? Dawn: Uh... Because older dinosaurs have experience... We know how to avoid danger. Rex: Yeah? Bob: Hey, did you know it hurts when you stick one of these in your eye? Rex: Hee hee! Good one, mom; I almost believed you!!
Share January 02, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my book so far?" Dogbert looks at the manuscript and says, "It reminds me of 'Moby Dick.'" Dilbert asks, "Because of my creative metaphors and strong imagery?" Dogbert responds, "No, it just seems to me that a big whale wouldn't smell too good, either."
Share January 10, 1991's comic on:
Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."
Share January 27, 1991's comic on:
Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.
Share March 20, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."
Share March 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert holds his arms away from his body. He asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "You're holding your arms out like this." Dilbert replies, "I've been lifting weights!" Dilbert continues, "My arms do this automatically because of the muscles." Dogbert asks, "What muscles would make your arms stick out?" Dilbert replies, "Obviously, it's some sort of armpit muscle. I don't know the Latin name." Dilbert puts his arms over his head and says, "I'm going to keep at it until I have huge armpits and I have to keep my arms straight up all the time." Dogbert asks, "Why are you doing this?" Dilbert replies, "I just want to look good."
Share April 24, 1991's comic on:
A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"