Productivity Rewarded Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

104 Results for Productivity Rewarded

View 51 - 60 results for productivity rewarded comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Rewarded" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all." "This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk." "You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved." "This is Alice. She will be your mentor." "I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!" "I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!" "Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here." "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #write code, #faster, #high level of effciciency, #recognized, #rewarded, #works for you, #finish all projects, #one hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I found a clever way to write my application code in one hour! "Normally this sort of thing would take weeks." "I assume my high level of efficiency will be recognized and rewarded." Alice: "Let me know how that works out for you." The Boss: "You did all of that in one hour?" Asok: "Yes. I did." The Boss: "From now on. I expect you to finish all of your projects in one hours." "Otherwise I'll assume you're ripping off the company." Asok: "You could have warned me." Alice: "That's not how experience works."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #increased pordcutivity, #watched funny videos, #morning until dusk, #halfway done

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: This week I increased my productivity by improving my morale. "I watched funny youtube videos from morning until dusk." The Boos: "That's all you did?" Wally: "Don't worry. I'm almost halfway done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2007's comic on:


Tags #family freindly, #policices, #lost prodcutivity, #openly hotsile, #single people, #not fair, #impatience, #contradictory remarks, #hypcrisy, #blatant prejudice

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people." Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair." Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #dont know, #creating illusion, #work, #conflating, #concepts, #attendence, #prodcutivity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz