Salesman Comic Strips - Page 6

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64 Results for Salesman

View 51 - 60 results for salesman comic strips. Discover the best "Salesman" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, sales personnel, deluxe edition, store, online shopping, unnecessary warranty extenstion, digital receipt

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Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, sales personnel, offer discount, chair, runaway

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Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), sales personnel, existing system, ignorance us not an option, survey

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Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

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Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags haggling, negotiating, negotiation, research, value, worth, anchor price, science

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Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadlines, delivery, management, negotiating, negotiation, reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.

Dilbert Can Tweak The Software

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Dilbert Can Tweak The Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, sales personnel, demands, rules, promise, restrictions, obliviousness, business

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The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.

Nod At Preset Intervals

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Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

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Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Your Quote Is High

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Your Quote Is High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer software, office, sales, sales personnel, quote

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dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.

Magazine Article

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Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, publication, salesman, advertisement, best, company, decision

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magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?