Sell A Kit Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

114 Results for Sell A Kit

View 51 - 60 results for sell a kit comic strips. Discover the best "Sell A Kit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bailout loan, #excellent lobbyists, #taxpayers give money, #leagl

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "The government is giving us a bailout loan because we have excellent lobbyists!" The Boss exclaims, "Ha ha! Taxpayers will give us money so we can build overpriced products to sell to taxpayers!" Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Remind me again why any of this is legal." The Boss replies, "Wuss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #full service broker, #stick broker, #brokers know stocks, #earn trust, #direct approach, #garbage, #biggest commission

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into the office of a Full Service Broker. The Broker introduces himself to Dilbert, "I'm Bob Weaselton, your full-service stockbroker." Bob continues, "There are two ways we can go here." Bob continues, "Option one: I act as if brokers know which stocks are better than others." Bob continues, "Then I'll earn your trust by comparing your portfolio to misleading benchmarks." Bob continues, "But I prefer a more direct approach." Bob continues, "Option two: I sell you whatever garbage earns me the biggest commission." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Would you do me a favor and lie to me?" Dogbert responds, "Nice haircut."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #win- win scenarios, #customer focused, #solutions, #actual prodcut, #sell, #partner, #shovel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. The salesman says, "We provide win-win scenarios and customer-focused solutions." Dilbert responds, "Uh.. Okay.. But what is the actual product or service you sell?" The salesman says, "We don't sell; we partner." Dilbert responds, "I don't buy; I shovel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reducing inventory, #sell to cutomers, #feel free, #tell board, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti itch lotion, #might cause itching, #customer list, #bear, #mean dogbert, #evil thinking, #hates people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dogbert says, "I plan to sell an anti-itch lotion that's really just honey." Dogbert continues, "I'll put a disclaimer on the bottle that says, 'Might cause itching.'" Dogbert continues, "And then I'll sell my customer list to bears." Dilbert responds, "That's not nice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dimwitted twins, #free long distance, #low cost video phones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "My plan is to sell low-cost video-phones to dimwitted identical twins." Dogbert continues, "I'll even throw in free long-distance calling because that's the kind of guy I am." A man looks into a mirror and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! What are you doing at my girlfriend's house????"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new ad campiagn, #music from artsits, #willing to sell out, #dead musicians, #not descomposed

View Transcript

Transcript

Our new as caiman willies familiar music from artists who are willing to sell out. Due to budget cuts, we'll limit our search to musicians who are dead but not yet totally decomposed. MAKEUP!!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #netwrok security, #buggy, #complicated, #user guide, #pure evil, #tech support dept, #chimp with typewriter, #strategy, #victims, #hair quiver, #consultants, #paid by hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. DOgbert: "Your network-security product is buggy and complicated." "Your used guide is an inspired work of pure evil." "And your tech-support department is an inebriated chimpanzee with a typewriter." "One strategy would be to fix all of those problems." The Boss: "What's the other strategy?" Dogbert: "Sell consulting services to your victims... I mean customers!" The Boss: "I'm so happy, it's making my hair quiver!" "But what do we do when our consultants can't make our products work either?" Dogbert: "They're paid by the hour." The Boss: "QUIVER!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."