Slap Yourself Comic Strips - Page 6

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222 Results for Slap Yourself

View 51 - 60 results for slap yourself comic strips. Discover the best "Slap Yourself" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #update objectives, #need targets, #hard work, #support management, #picture

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #incoming voicemail, #email everyday, #log onto network, #boss bossy, #print emails, #get sandwhich, #pre chew food, #bubble bee costumes, #engineers, #tricked, #hives, #no emails

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The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, from now on I'd like you to type up all of my incoming voice mail so I can just read it." The Boss continues, "And print out all of my e-mail every day so I don't have to log onto the network." The Boss continues, "And get me a sandwich from the cafeteria. Ooh, no cash. I'll pay you back." Carol asks, "Do you want me to prechew the sandwich or can you handle that on your own?" Carol says to Wally and Dilbert, "Listen up, you overpaid engineers . . ." Carol continues, "By order of our reclusive boss, the new dress code for engineers is bumblebee costumes." Carol continues, "If you don't believe me, send him voice mail and ask for yourself. Oh, and he wants you to buy him a sandwich." The Boss asks Carol, "Still no messages this week? Is everybody out sick?" Carol replies, "I heard they have hives." Dilbert stands next to the Boss wearing a bee costume.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #trade show, #prodcuts, #defective, #stayed up, #setting booth

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The caption says, "At the trade show." A man asks Alice, "What can you tell me about your products?" Alice replies, "Our products are defective, much like yourself." Alice tells Asok, "I probably shouldn't have stayed up all night setting up the booth." The man asks, "What are you doing later?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #culture of cycnicism, #cynicism, #happiness commitee, #improve morale, #negativism

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We must change our culture of cynicism and negativism." The Boss continues, "You two will be the 'Happiness Committee.' Come up with some ideas to improve morale." Dilbert and Wally sit at a desk together. Dilbert says, "So far we've got: 1) Raises, 2) Slap-The-Boss Day and 3) Nude Fridays." Wally says, "I feel my cynicism melting away already."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #speak about project, #plan, #created input, #arrogant baboon, #slap you, #flashbacks, #honeymoon

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Dilbert asked me to speak to you about the project plan you created without his input." Dogbert screams, "It's impossible, you arrogant baboon!!!" Dogbert continues, "Lean over here so I can slap you." The Boss says, "I'm having flashbacks to my honeymoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #family friendly policies, #higher profits, #high profits, #true costs, #camouflage, #five minute break

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A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #hearty slap, #practice swings, #visiting the customer, #smile, #less follow thorugh, #aim higher, #trans suddenly

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Kenny tells Dilbert, "When I introduce you to the customer, smile and give him a hearty slap on the back." Kenny says, "Get ready. Here he comes." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better take some practice swings." The customer lies on the ground. Kenny tells Dilbert, "Next time, less follow-through, aim higher, and if he turns around suddenly, hold off." Dilbert says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #complaints, #unnecessary, #meetings, #Family, #ridiculous

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Tina sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "People are complaining that you schedule unnecessary meetings as a substitute for a family." Tina replies, "That's ridiculous! Come to my next meeting and see for yourself." Catbert says, "Okay, I will." Tina tells Dilbert, "I got us a family cat. How was your day, dear?" Dilbert leans on his desk and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business consulatnts, #common sense, #debunks effectiveness, #logically flwaed, #no common sense, #writing book, #mass market

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Dogbert stands at a desk typing. He tells Dilbert, "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants." Dilbert says, "But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself, so your opinion is logically flawed." Dilbert says, "Only people with no common sense will buy your book." Dogbert replies, "I prefer to call them the mass market."