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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."
Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "I hate it when my dog just stares at me." Dilbert thinks, "Is he plotting? Does hoe know something I don't? What is it?" Dogbert looks at Dilbert through a pair of binoculars. Dogbert thinks, "Dogs don't like to talk about it, but the instinct to look up people's noses is very strong."
Dilbert says, "Come help me hook up my new VCR, Dogbert." Dilbert kneels next to the television and says, "You read the instructions and I'll connect the cables." Dogbert reads, "'Connect the 300 Ohm twin-lead flat cable to the 75 Ohm RF2 jack.'" Dilbert looks confused. Dogbert continues to read, "'Or use the optional 75 Ohm co-axial cable with the F type connector.'" Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, I'm an electrical engineer and I don't understand any of this." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to lie to the other engineers and say I don't WANT to record tv shows." Dogbert reads, "'Now, strip naked, cover your body with motor oil and run through town yelling walla-walla-walla.'" Dilbert says, "Let me see that." Dogbert reads, "'Step six: Do not doubt the nice dog.'"
Dilbert looks out the window and says, "Hey, that's Lisa. I dated her last night!" Dilbert walks outside and says, "Lisa! What are you doing in this neighborhood!" Lisa looks guilty and replies, "Well . . . Actually, I didn't know how to tell you to stop calling me . . ." Lisa continues, ". . . So I came to throw this brick with a note on it through your window." Lisa throws the brick and it crashes through the window. She says, "It seems awkward now . . ." Dilbert reads the note on the brick, ". . . It was like you sucked the oxygen out of the room . . . You remind me of fungus . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . Continued on brick two." Dilbert ducks as another brick crashes through the window. He says, "That's it! She is OFF my Valentine list!!"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table looking through a National Geographic magazine. Dilbert says, "This magazine is the only way we can learn about primitive cultures." Dogbert asks, "How do they learn about us?" Dilbert points to a photograph and says, "Here's a Pygmy reading 'The New Yorker.'"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says as he looks through some transparencies, "I'm putting together a presentation for the Big Boss's staff meeting. We hear he likes geometry." Dogbert reads a transparency that says, "Rectangles: the misunderstood parallelograms." Dogbert says, "It's bound to spark controversy." Dilbert says, "We believe in open communication."
Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"
Dilbert sits in a giant slingshot holding his suitcase. Dilbert says, "I wish there were an easier way to fly in Elbonia." Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to find Dogbert and convince him to stop being the despotic ruler of Elbonia." Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian and points a rifle toward the sky. The Elbonian says, "But, sire, this is the airport, not the skeet-shooting range." Dogbert yells, "Pull!"
Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert yells, "A mob of Elbonians is at the gate!! They have pickaxes and rakes!!" Dogbert looks shocked. Dilbert and Dogbert run up the stairs to the roof. Dogbert yells, "Quick!! We'll take the emergency despot escape slingshot!!" As Dilbert and Dogbert fly through the air overhead, an Elbonian says to the crowd behind him, "Did anybody remind the king that today is the garden festival?"