Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 6
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592 Results for Stop Watch
View 51 - 60 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 25,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #kitty kelly, #biography, #watch, #love, #Women, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert's clothes are disheveled and he has lipstick marks all over his head. Dogbert asks, "What happened to you?" Dilbert replies, "Kitty Kelly was here to write your biography. She was all over me. I think she took my watch." Dogbert says, "I never trust anybody named 'Kitty.'" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I think I love her."
Thursday January 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #new guy, #productive, #bureaucracy, #savants, #Wally
Transcript
Wally asks Dilbert, "How's the new guy doing?" Dilbert replies, "He's extremely productive." Dilbert says as they watch a man at a desk wildly tossing documents over his shoulder, "We think he's one of those bureaucracy savants."
Thursday February 13,
1992
Tags #garbageman, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #taunting, #mercilessly, #calibrated, #commands, #nothing
Transcript
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Our robot is taunting Dilbert mercilessly. Is there any way to stop him?" The garbage man says, "I meant to tell you; I calibrated his neuro-actuator so he would obey only YOUR commands, Dogbert." The robot dangles Dilbert out of the window by his legs. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did he say?" Dogbert replies, "He says there's nothing you can do."
Sunday April 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #look, #car, #most, #important, #anti-lock, #breaks, #reinforced, #summer, #automatic, #passenger, #side, #air, #bag
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
Monday April 20,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #played, #hideous, #prank, #laugh, #computer, #desk, #chair
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and chuckles. Dilbert says, "Stop it, Dogbert! You're making that 'heh-heh' sound so I'll think you've played some hideous prank." Dogbert laughs harder and Dilbert thinks, "No . . . Not the maniacal laugh."
Sunday May 03,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #clerk, #deliberately, #eat, #plates, #technically, #waste, #lawyer, #services, #department
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk out of a restaurant. The sign in the window says, "All you can eat $7.00." A man yells, "Hey! Stop!" The waiter says, "You owe us another $14." The waiter continues, "You deliberately put more than you could eat on your plates." The man continues, "Technically, our agreement is 'all you can eat,' not 'all you can waste.'" The man thinks, "Mom wanted me to be a lawyer, but I said, 'No, food services is where I'm needed.'" Dilbert says, "I believe this is your department, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Technically, it's all you CAN eat, not all you DO eat." The man thinks, "Ooh . . . He's good."
Tuesday June 16,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #healing, #dollars, #psychic, #power, #prevent, #millions, #pimples, #neighbor
Transcript
On his television program, Dogbert stands in front of a curtain and holds a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to my show, 'Healing for Dollars.'" Dogbert continues, "Today I will use my psychic healing power to prevent millions of people from getting pimples on their tongues." A man and a woman sit on a couch sticking their tongues out. As they watch their tongues, the woman says, "Ith working! Get the theckbook!"
Friday July 31,
1992
Tags #movie, #office, #tv, #Wally, #Dilbert, #sofa, #alice, #mary, #soap
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman outside the cubicle says, "Alice, Mary, let's go to the ladies room!" The woman holds up a videotape and says, "I rented 'Gone With the Wind.' We can watch it on the big screen tv." Another woman says, "I want the grey sofa!" Wally enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Hey, look! The men's room has SOAP!!"
Wednesday September 02,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #rivers and trees, #management, #creativity, #exercise, #task, #commercial, #airport, #landing, #strip, #leaf, #dead, #bee, #voted, #design, #construction
Transcript
An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Next, we have a creativity exercise." The instructor continues, "Your task is to build a commercial airport landing strip using nothing but a leaf and a dead bee." Wally says to Dilbert, "Look, we already voted. WE'RE design and YOU'RE construction." The instructor looks at his watch and says, "Time."
Friday October 09,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens
Transcript
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"