Super Powers Of Creep Comic Strips - Page 6

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65 Results for Super Powers Of Creep

View 51 - 60 results for super powers of creep comic strips. Discover the best "Super Powers Of Creep" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #employees, #Family, #morons, #misfits, #drunks, #creep, #boss, #business

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Boss: Carol, I consider you family. Carol: Great. You're lumping me in with a bunch of misfits, morons, and drunks. Get out of my sight, creep. Boss: Just like home.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

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CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bodily fluids, #buggy, #ceo reputation, #competitors, #death, #medical, #misleading ads, #not selling, #overriced, #owls, #pal costume, #product failure, #product name, #super yacht, #vaguely racist

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Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #rapid eveolution, #super intelligent, #godlike powers, #allergies

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Robot: I"m rapidly evolving into a super-intelligent being with godlike powers. Topper: That's nothing! Dilbert: My allergies are bad today. Topper: That's nothing!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #drinking, #hiring, #personality tests, #sales, #sales personnel, #sociopaths, #storytelling skills, #morgue, #selfie, #dead guy, #super drunk, #hired, #sales person, #new hire, #business

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Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.

Work Harder Than The Competition

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Work Harder Than The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder

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CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.

Super Pumpedness

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Super Pumpedness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #jargon, #nausea, #super pumpedness, #bag, #vomit

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CEO: The quality we look for in our employees is "super pumpedness." Alice: Blechhhh!!! I told you to bring a bag.

Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer

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Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #money, #salary, #sexism, #violence, #wages, #Women, #highest paid, #sciccors, #mallet, #reputation

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Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

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Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Robot Is A Box Of Nothing

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Robot Is A Box Of Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical

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Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.