Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 6

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262 Results for Tech Support

View 51 - 60 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blood suckers, coworkers, famous novelist, lowly tech writer, scathing email messages, write a book, write witty, dogcart career counselor

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Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags supreme ruler, earth, go outside, runa round, mouth open, fresh air, exercise, hate flies, health

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer up, management support, meeting, boss ego, master at work, promised customer, full management support, sales meeting, business

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags update objectives, need targets, hard work, support management, picture

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags minor edits, product brochure, causes hallucinations, sterility, positive spin, greatest writing challenge, same old sights, great gift, conscince, three pager

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The Boss says to Tina the Tech Writer, "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure." Tina sits at her desk and thinks, "Minor? Uh-oh . . ." The Boss continues, "We've discovered that our product causes hallucinations and sterility." The Boss continues, "See if you can put a positive spin on that." Tina thinks, "This will be my greatest writing challenge yet." Tina types, "Are you tired of the same old sights? We've got you covered." Tina types, ". . . Makes a great gift for those people who - in your opinion - should not reproduce." Tina thinks, "Ooh . . . I feel a tiny pang of conscience. That's one." Dilbert asks, "So the brochure was only a three-panger?" Tina replies, "Yeah, and I think I faked the third one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags column, click, menu, uderboy, reviewed draft, duh

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Tina the Tech Writer sits at her desk and writes, "To insert a column, click the column insert menu." Tina types, "But let's be honest, userboy, if you need to be told THAT, you're too stupid to use this product." Tina asks Dilbert, "Have you reviewed the draft yet?" Dilbert replies, "I'm up to the chapter titled 'Duh.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new sex symbols, online personals, tech prowness, moonlit walks, must like to dance, applicants

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Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols. Your online personals ad should emphasize your technical prowess." Dilbert asks, "How about 'Looking for woman who likes moonlit walks so I'll have more time alone with my computer'?" Dilbert continues, "And 'Must like to dance.' That's so I won't get a flabby, uncoordinated applicant." Dogbert says, "Don't call them 'applicants' on the first date."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tina, tech writer, first draft, boring, presence of genius

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The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document and says, "Your first draft was boring, so I added a bunch of exclamation points." Tina reads the document and says, "Wow! Those exclamation points make this technical document come alive!" The Boss thinks, "This might be that sarcasm thing I keep hearing about." Tina hugs the document and cries, "I'm in the presence of genius! I beg you to father my children!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer support, elbonian data base, expensive consultant, five hundred dollars, meeting, business

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The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idiot boss, move mouse pad, mouse at end, cursor, moving desk, need 800 upgrade, dogbert tech support

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Dogbert answers the phone and says, "This is Dogbert. How may I abuse you?" The Boss sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I need to move my cursor to the right but my mouse is at the edge of the mousepad." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried rebooting without saving your files?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, several times." Dogbert asks, "Have you tried moving your desk?" The Boss pushes his desk. The Boss says, "It didn't work." Dogbert says, "You need my $800 mousepad upgrade." The Boss asks Carol, "What account does this get charged to?" Carol replies, "'Idiot Expense,' just like everything else."