Top Job Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Top Job

View 51 - 60 results for top job comic strips. Discover the best "Top Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #refrigerator, #people, #Dogbert, #traveled, #miracle, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #jar, #elvis, #jello, #king

View Transcript

Transcript

A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources, #cow, #egg, #lobby, #counter, #lates, #vegetarians, #health, #link, #Food, #nutrition, #pyramid, #school, #Kids, #different, #learned

View Transcript

Transcript

A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #smell, #creative, #idea, #formed, #building, #crush, #new, #trap, #suggestion, #box, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #floyd, #question, #co-workers, #chewed, #clothes, #synthetic, #shock, #healthy, #eat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Wally, "What happened to you?" Wally's clothing is torn and tattered. Wally replies, "I asked Floyd a question." Wally continues, "Floyd hates his job, so he takes it out on co-workers. He almost chewed my clothes off." Dilbert asks, "How'd you stop him?" Wally replies, "He went into synthetic shock; it's not healthy to eat too much of this stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #floyd, #help, #co-worker, #hate, #job, #mean, #vital, #information, #control, #secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert kneels in front of Floyd's desk. Floyd yells, "What?! You think I'll help you just because I'm your co-worker?? Ha! I hate co-workers!" Dilbert begs, "All I need is . . ." Floyd yells, "I hate this job! I hate everything! The only thing I like is being mean to co-workers who need the vital information that I control!" Dilbert's underwear has been streched over his head. Another man with a wedgie says, "If you think YOU hate him, you should try being his secretary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #leader, #rebel, #diplomat, #peace, #mission, #rock, #pig, #varnish, #clams, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #earth, #taxes, #press conference, #reporter, #corrupt, #morally, #supreme ruler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a podium during a press conference. A reporter asks, "Now that you're the Supreme Ruler of Earth, will you become morally corrupt?" Dogbert replies, "Yes, that's my plan. It's really the only way to enjoy a job like this." Dogbert continues, "And of course I'll be raising taxes just to see the expressions on your faces." The reporters look angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #humor, #Dilbert, #the boss, #tension, #engineers, #lightbulb, #appraisal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."