Traffic To Site Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

76 Results for Traffic To Site

View 51 - 60 results for traffic to site comic strips. Discover the best "Traffic To Site" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #delegating, #excuses, #volunteering, #cruel, #mean

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hardware, #internet & world wide web, #next week balancing, #traffic loads, #network, #worst wingman, #shame

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #dating site, #social media, #propsects, #addicted, #facebook, #pain meds, #prescription pain meds, #eye contact, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds. Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #web traffic, #blatant honesty, #money, #negotiations, #various things, #vague stuff, #vagueness

View Transcript

Transcript

Social media expert Consultant: If you give me lots of money, I will do various vague things to increase your web traffic. Boss: Wow! I would have been happy with just various things, but that vague stuff sounds great too! Dilbert: And now he's my responsibility? Boss: Don't screw up his vagueness plan because I think it can work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #violence, #inspection, #elbonian facility, #disputed territory, #totalitarian state, #north elbonia, #forshadowing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a site inspection at our Elbonian facility. It's located in a disputed territory on the border of the totalitarian state of North Elbonia. Was that enough foreshadowing or should I say something about how they treat spies? Dilbert: No, you nailed it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #access, #apprval, #blocked website, #cip, #director of hr, #hostiliy, #mean, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

This website has been blocked by your company. Dilbert: Mordac, I need access to a blocked site for business reasons, Mordac: I can only unblock the site if the director of human resources sends me a written approval. Catbert: I can only make recommendations, Our Cis still has to approve it. Chief Information Officer How dare you bother me with your trivial website problem! Carol back into your hole and think about the career mistake you just made! Dilbert: Can we kip the part where you ask me what I accomplished this week?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.