Training Comic Strips - Page 6
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156 Results for Training
View 51 - 60 results for training comic strips. Discover the best "Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 27,
2000
Tags replaced computers, training class, ignored requests, sit unused, slow way, computer manual, no time, class, coat, invest, plan future
Transcript
Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.
Tuesday September 05,
2000
Tags judging people, meet new guy, training him, giant amoeba
Transcript
The boss: dilbert , meet the new guy. Dilbert: You hired a giant amoeba? The Boss: You can't go around judging people by their looks. The Boss: Would you mind... Dilbert: Training him? Boss: Keeping him moist?
Tuesday November 28,
2000
Tags beef eating, just stress, mandatory cpr, middle aged men, training for emplyees, pear shaped
Transcript
Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."
Monday February 26,
2001
Tags training facility, training, secret location, blinfolded, drivers
Transcript
The Boss ties a blindfold over Alice's eyes and says, "No one knows the secret location of the Management Training Facility." The Boss leads the blindfolded Alice as Alice says, "If no one knows where it is, how do we get there?" Alice is sitting blindfolded in a car. The Boss is sitting in the driver's seat, also blindfolded. The Boss says, "This part can get loud."
Tuesday February 27,
2001
Tags huge, management training, stupid mistake, class, school, learn from it, education
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"
Wednesday February 28,
2001
Tags always right, arrogance, management training, punished, two rules, customer
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"
Thursday March 01,
2001
Tags unlock skull, management training, twist ears, moral compass, deactivate, leadership, working weekends, adjustng, Dogbert
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Friday March 02,
2001
Tags class, cloak of invisibility, consultant, invisibility, management cloak, management training, special, students, teacher, education, business
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert addresses the class, saying, "Tim will demonstrate the Management Cloak of Invisibility." Dogbert points to Tim who is sitting at a desk in front of the Management Training class. Dogbert watches as Tim sinks below the desk. Dogbert says to the class as Tim disappears from view, "I admit it doesn't seem very special when you know how it's done."
Friday May 25,
2001
Tags boyfreind, project, turtlenecks, jeans, fish, training for marathins, cry at movies, the boyfriend project, makeover, clothes, body, animals
Transcript
Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice hands her boyfriend clothing and says, "I'm putting you in turtlenecks and jeans." As the boyfriend changes into his new clothing, Alice continues, "You don't like to fish anymore. Now you're training for marathons." The boyfriend begins to wail, screaming, "WHAA! WHAA!" Alice replies, "You can only cry at movies."
Tuesday July 24,
2001
Tags evolution training, make it thourgh, banana, peel, gorillas, neanderthal, monkeys, jungle naimals
Transcript
Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert stands atop a stool in front of students with a pointer in his hand. He says, "Some of you will not make it through the class." A banana who happens to be seated next to a gorilla raises its hand and asks, "May I move to a different seat?" The rest of the class looks on. Dogbert responds, "Sure... Oops. Problem solved. Carl, don't leave that where someone will slip on it."

