Act Humble Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for Act Humble

View 51 - 60 results for act humble comic strips. Discover the best "Act Humble" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #act as boss, #imitates her boss, #alice, #funny faces, #makes hair pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you should act as if you're your own boss." Alice replies, "Okay." Alice grabs her hair into two sections and says, "My hair is pointy and I'm confused. Suddenly I have no respect for myself." Alice looks dazed. She slumps in her chair and says, "Must...golf... now." The Boss responds, "That is so-o-o not funny."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #engineering decison, #project, #need to act, #fiber capacity, #serial input, #meeting, #communication problems, #table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I needed to make an engineering decision about your project this morning." The Boss continues, "You'll need to act like you agree with it so I don't look stupid." Dilbert is at a meeting. A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "Explain to us how fiber capacity can be increased by serial input at breakfast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #act ineterested, #air gap, #boring, #doing at work, #hurt when i hurt, #mother, #no empathy for son, #no pain, #dilberts mother, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #process meeting, #solve problem, #develop process, #generating ideas, #meeting, #cross - discilinary, #swat team, #offsite meeting, #meeting as firewall, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting next to each other at a meeting. Asok raises his hand excitedly and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know how to solve that problem!" The Boss replies, "Not so fast, Asok." Asok looks sullen as the Boss continues, "This isn't the solution meeting. This is the process meeting." The Boss continues, "Our goal is to develop a process for generating ideas to solve the problem." Wally turns to Asok and The Boss and says, "We don't know how to develop processes. Someone should have a meeting about that." Wally continues, "Someone like... a cross-disciplinary SWAT team in an offsite lockup meeting." The Boss says, "Hmm.. good idea." He then looks at Dilbert from the corner of his eye and finishes, "I guess this meeting is over." Wally continues to talk to Asok as they're walking out of the meeting. He says, "You see, Asok. You can only thwart a meeting by inventing other meetings to act as a firewall." The Boss approaches Asok at his desk and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on a cross-disciplinary SWAT team."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #incredulous ed, #inventing words, #what?!, #answers with questions, #annoying, #new hire, #dumb guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a new employee to introduce to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet incredulous Ed." The Boss continues, "No matter what question you ask him, he'll act as if you are inventing words." Dilbert turns to Ed and asks, "Do you have a family?" Ed replies, "Do I have a WHAT??"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #detect trends, #act accordingly, #not having strategy, #make itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted is giving a presentation using slides and a pointer. He points to the slide which has an arrow pointing to a spot and says: "Our strategy is to detect any trends and react accordingly." Asok, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table with sheets of paper in front of them. Dilbert says: "Isn't that exactly the same as not having a strategy?" Ted answers: "Hey, this slide didn't make itself."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #tough negotiator, #deal, #sign contract, #totally different, #conditions, #complained, #borrow, #briefcase, #no one complained

View Transcript

Transcript

A salesman sits with his briefcase across from Dilbert. The salesman says, " a tough negotiator, but I think we have a deal." The salesman hands Dilbert a piece off paper and says, "Just sign the contract and we'll deliver the equipment." Dilbert reads and says, "This contract is totally different from what we agreed." The salesman thinks, "Must act suprised." and says, "Really?" dilbert says, "Why are you spring all these conditions on me at the last minute?" The sales man says, "No onwe has ever complained before." Dilbert says, "Can I borrow your briefcase for a minute?" and takes the briefcase. The salesman says, "Um... okay." dilbert drops the briefcase off a balcony. The salesman says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert says, "No one has complained before."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #work all night, #finish prodcut, #random act, #management, #seem less random

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss runs into Alice in the hall. He cocks his arm and says, "Alice, I expect you to work all night to finish that project. It's vital!" Alice says, "Aagh!! I'm a victim of a random act of management!" The boss sits behind his desk, looks in a mirror and thinks, "I was sure the arm-pumping would make it seem less random."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #earthlings, #susupicous, #competent and caring, #aliens, #aline dressed as boss, #helpful to carol

View Transcript

Transcript

In an alien space craft, two aliens converse with one another. One is dressed as The Boss and holds a 'The Boss' mask. The Boss is in a containment unit. The Boss alien says, "I think the earthlings are getting suspicious." As The Boss alien puts his mask on, the other alien replies, "Keep acting competent and caring. Our prisoner says that's how leaders act on their world." Back in the office, Carol sits at her computer terminal while The Boss says, "Carol, let me do the org chart on my PC. You have too much work already." Carol yelps, "AAAGH!"