Answer Phones Comic Strips - Page 6

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228 Results for Answer Phones

View 51 - 60 results for answer phones comic strips. Discover the best "Answer Phones" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temper, #anger, #calm, #email, #frustration, #internet, #communication, #reaction, #technology

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Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

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People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Dilbert Eats A Berry

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Dilbert Eats A Berry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #google, #internet, #off the grid, #question, #query, #allergy, #berry, #reaction, #swelling, #anaphylaxis, #technology

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Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

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Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

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Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #afterlife, #angel, #ceos, #demon, #evil, #executives, #good, #good vs. evil, #returning from the dead

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CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

Text Is More Important Than Dilbert

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Text Is More Important Than Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate

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Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

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Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

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Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

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Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups

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Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #frankness, #goals, #honesty, #managers, #root cause, #bad parenting, #pointy headed boos, #underlings, #rapidly evolving nature, #talented employee, #boss life story

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Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.